Halloween Happenings

While some elements of the Halloween season are and will continue to be hindered by the ongoing apocalypse we are currently going through, the great thing about the season of spook is just how many fun things there really are to do. And really, when it comes to Halloween, some of the most enjoyable elements are those little things, from lighting that dusty Pumpkin Fart Dollar General candle that’s been sitting on your bookcase since last October, to the dangerously dark shit you get from eating too many Halloween Oreos. 

As is the case every season, I’ve been witch’s tit deep into all things Halloween, and whether you like it or not, I’m going to share some of what I’ve been up to with you right this very second. 

HallowBaby Halloween training continues...

The decorating process is still, well, in the process, but this year I decided to start creating some fun decorations of my own, which is something we hadn’t done since 2013 when I posted these two videos (Indoor Halloween Decorations Outdoor Halloween Decorations). 

So far this year, with some inspiration from the Demon Queen of the Demented (better known ‘round these parts as my wife), I hand cut this Haunted village out of poster board, which as you can see will be backlit by some seriously spooky orange lights. We plan to do more with this, but this is the main theme for the mantle, and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. 

We also decided to do a witch theme this year, which will be highlighted by a not-quite-started and more complex cauldron for the front/outside of the house, and a more simple cauldron for the fireplace inside the house. The inside cauldron was done by encasing a set of orange LED lights in some expanding foam sealant to create the look of burning embers, and the cauldron is simply a $1 cauldron with some green LED lights inside and some spider webbing around the edge to make it look as if a bubbling brew is boiling over. Once everything is all said and done, I plan to post a video of how it all looks. 

I don’t think I need to go into detail about the state of the cinema in 2020, but while things have been pretty bleak on the multiplex front, the drive-in made a bit of a comeback this Summer, and I am lucky enough to have a couple drive-ins near me. As a result, I have been able to take in a ton of movies at the drive-in, which really kicked off at the beginning of the Summer with a viewing of Jaws. Following Jaws came some family friendly drive-in trips to see ET and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, both of which are big favorites in my household. 

As cool as all that was, things really kicked into gory gear over the last month, where I was able to catch a double feature of A Nightmare on Elm Street paired up with The Lost Boys and a double feature of The Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2. It was all pretty awesome getting the opportunity to see movies that are so integral to my development as a horror fan on the big screen, and at the Drive-in no less. Hopefully they’ll keep the goodies coming throughout October. 

There’s plenty more I could go over, but at this point you’ve probably begun to decay due to boredom. So with that being said, I hope you have found some nice Halloween silver linings to keep your spirits up so far this season, and if so, I’d love to hear all about it!

Salute Your Shorts: Saw Misgivings

A suburban housewife mistakenly gets her head stuck in a Saw-inspired death trap while trying on old clothes in the attic earlier in the afternoon. As unfortunate as that may sound, things become worse when she learns that she cannot remove the device because her baby accidentally swallowed the only key. While the trap is a tad uncomfortable and, more importantly, could possibly rip her head open at any given moment, her biggest concern is getting dinner ready for her judgmental in-laws, who are due to arrive sooner than she expected. 

Directed and produced by David Lilley and written by Mark O'Connell, Saw Misgivings is 7 minute short film that takes a very humorous look at the II headaches that would come as a result of having to wear a Jigsaw inspired death mask while performing the day-to-day tasks of the stereotypical average housewife. How would such a device hamper normal undertakings such as going shopping, drinking coffee, showering, and other various daily tasks? Worse yet, how is she even supposed to get this thing off without digging into her baby’s belly for the key? Worse worse yet, how long does she have until the thing goes off?!

As a whole, Saw Misgivings is a rock solid and humorous tribute to the Saw franchise, successfully lampooning the iconic traps as well as the kinetic style found in the series. All of the jokes perfectly hit their mark, which is certainly the biggest challenge with a short, no-budget film like this, and the performances by stars Vicky Album and Steve McNeil are spot on. Whether or not you are a fan of the Saw films, you will certainly enjoy this brilliant little short, so please take a moment and check it out below, then let me know what you think afterwards! 

PS - Be sure to keep watching after the credits!

Awful Staind Song Lyrics Blog Post Title

Why hello there, old friend, how’s it going? It’s been a minute. And by minute, I mean 1,533,186 minutes. Crazy, right? Having something that I did for so many years, and so passionately at that, completely slip away and get lost in the shuffle that is life. But that’s how life works, I suppose, but the cool thing about life is you have at least some control over what you do with it, and it was only a matter of time before I’d get the itch to pick up the proverbial pen and pad and get to doing… something… again, What that is, I only sort of know, but one thing I do know is that my typing has gone to shit, and I miss the hell out of writing nonsense for my millions of fans across the globe. 

*pause for standing o*

*pause for second standing o*

This whole idea of getting the blog going again is extremely fresh, but I would love to revisit some old segments, do the occasional review and talk about whatever happens to tickle my pickle at any given moment. I know for sure that I will be sharing some old content from other websites that have gone belly up over the years. I’m sentimental (vain) and would hate to see shit I’ve spent time writing completely disappear from the internet, and some of it is pretty good (vain), so I will be sharing it all here on CNAMB. 

Of course, one thing that always gives me nostalgia for this ol’ dump (and something that makes me feel extremely sad for being so neglective) is the Halloween season. 

For 9 years, NINE YEARS, Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and the one-time annual celebration known as Chucktober, was a huge part of my Halloween season, working as a sort of cathartic place to spew all my love for Halloween and everything it means to me. I miss it. And I regret the fact that, regardless of not being prolific like I once was, I let Chucktober slide for 2 years without posting a single thing I had shit to say; I had shit to share; but hell, as much as I could dwell on that fact, what matters most is I am here for you now, ready to provide to you... maybe a few posts. 

Hey, I don't want to get ahead of myself here. 

With all that bs aside, I look forward to getting back into the swing of things in any sort of capacity. With how absolutely insane and weird and depressing and annoying the world has become since I last posted here, the one thing that hasn’t changed for myself, and I assume many of you, is the importance of the things that we all love. Media in all forms is more important than ever, and sharing our love for what we love is as good a coping mechanism as one can get. It’s ours, and it always will be ours, no matter what insanity the world decides to toss at us at any given moment.