What up partner?! I see you've decided to take a trip and explore the wild side of you inner dance machine this fine and lovely evening. Well, my young and influential friend, you quite possibly have made the greatest decision in your life, because you just came into the hottest thing since two-ply toilet paper...Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!! YEAHHHHHHHHHH! This is the dopest club in town, with the flyest women, the coolest dudes, and the strongest Quaaludes in all of Mexico! And we're not even in Mexico! Imagine that! First round is on me, and remember that if I give you any powdered mixes to secretly put in a pretty lady's drink later on...kay?! It's alright, there just vitamins that they sometimes forget to take at night when they're partying hard, I just wanna look out for their health and shit dawg...just don't tell them about it! We got each other’s backs here at Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, we also have each other’s venereal diseases as well...but you gotta take the good with the bad I guess. YEOWWWWWA!! Let’s cut the chitchat and turn this mother out already! You really picked a sick night to walk in these doors, as we have the most super of special DJs this evening...straight outta Nilbog, we got da hottest of da hot, the one who don't stop with the body drop - I present you, DJ Holly Waits!! And what's this that she's brought with her?! Oh snap! It's Hunger Pains, by hip-hop revolutionaries, The Electric Duck Experience Ltd.!Great...is that guy over there eating eggs?! BLECH!
Boy I cannot get enough Troll II, and if this isn't one of the greatest things you have ever seen, then I am sorry, but you have to leave the club immediately! I don't know anything about who put this Hunger Pains video together, but it is totally brilliant and one of the funniest things I have ever watched. Troll II is just one of those rare films that inspire people to make shit like this, and there are a ton of great clips and fan made videos strewn throughout you tube that are inspired by the worst movie of all time, but this is one of my favorites fo sho. Certainly deserving of a proper dance party it is, and like Yoda I speak, for reasons I am not sure of.
Enough of that crap, how bout that DJ tonight? Man, that Holly Waits woman is right off the meat rack, son! OWWWWWWA! I bet she could use a nice dose of vitamins...err, you know, because she has a bit of a cough and we would want her to go back to Nilbog sick...right?! Anyways, hope you all enjoyed tonight’s Dance Party, it was a pleasure having you and chances are that it would pleasure you to have me sometime.
Now THIS is how to start your Friday morning. By pissing on hospitality.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if sales of erotic popcorn machines soared after this film's release.
Once again, I'm reminded of my ongoing failure to have seen Troll 2! I've got to catch up with it one of these days!
ReplyDeleteI imagine it's a common ailment amongst vegetarians and people from Nebraska. But maybe that's just cause I'm all ignorant and stuff.
ReplyDeleteMan, Jeff...you need to just go and buy that two pack with Troll & Troll 2! It's cheap, and you will love Troll 2 - it's life changing in how insanely entertainingly awful it is!
ReplyDeleteEmily...what do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea???
A salad shooter!
I'll be here all week folks!
Man I missed the hoe down?? I was just about to tighten my belt and chug a half-gallon of Nilbog milk too..
ReplyDeleteWatch out for that Nilbog milk, Carl...shit is curdled! And there's always a hoe going down when Chuck Norris is around! I'm a poet and didn't even know it.
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