6 Films to Keep You Awake: The (B)Lame Game

Gloria, a single mother with financial difficulties, is invited to come and live with her friend, Dr. Ana Torres, a gynecologist who runs a clinic out of her home when not working at the hospital. In return for letting Gloria and her daughter stay with her, Ana asks that Gloria help with secretarial work at the home clinic, as well as provide a little much needed company for the lonely Ana. However, Ana is carrying a few secrets, with one being that she actually performs illegal abortions out of her home, the other, she is a lesbian with a major crush on Gloria.

Quick, which secret is hotter?!

Directed by Narciso Ibáñez Serrador (of Who Can Kill a Child fame), Blame (La Culpa) has two very well developed female characters that are strongly portrayed by both lead actresses (played by Montse Mostaza and Nieve de Medina). The almost male/female dynamic between Ana and Gloria is a strength of the film, with Gloria having nothing to stand on to keep her and her child afloat, whereas Ana sees this as an opportunity to win Gloria's affection. Ana provides shelter and food for Gloria and her daughter as if she were trying to buy Gloria's love, but with Gloria being straight, she is not at all interested in Ana. In a way, they are almost using each other to get what they want, but Gloria isn't giving Ana what she desires, no matter how hard Ana tries.

A major character trait of Ana is how incredibly successful she is at manipulation, specifically when it comes to unstable females. Many of the pregnant women that come in to see 'Dr. Ana' are young and impressionable girls who made a mistake and are now suffering the consequences. Ana uses their venerability to give these young women "advice," convincing them that abortion would be the best course of action in their unfortunate situation. This all plays into the Gloria character, who becomes pregnant from an unseen lover and is conflicted as to what she should do in the situation. Even though she initially wants to keep it, Ana uses her manipulation skills to coerce Gloria into aborting her baby. It's never clear as to why Ana would seem to want these women or Gloria to have abortions. Maybe it has something to due with her not being able to have kids herself, or maybe it could even have to do with her choice of sexuality.

Regardless of how well the characters are written, somehow, they are completely uninteresting, and I felt no connection to them whatsoever. Seeing as this film is driven by the two female characters, the lack of association I felt towards them is a major disconnect from the film as a whole. Now, I'm not sure how much of this is due to weak storytelling or if it's because I am watching from a male perspective. Maybe my absence of a uterus disconnects me from the abortion angle of Blame and a woman may take more from this film then I did, but I doubt it.

I'm totally in touch, brah. 

Blame is filled with a number of plot holes, it's completely boring and mostly pointless. It's hard to say more about the film's story, as there is no real threat while, at times, there are attempts to make it look as if there is with heavy use of misdirection. Only problem with that is, if you want to misdirect, then what caused the misdirected moments to begin with? It's a wild goose chase that is not at all wild, just snooze inducing.

There is very little tension, no sense of dread and this comes from all angles of the film. Most of the music is weak and cheap sounding, and even though the film looks nice enough and the location is fantastic, something as simple as a wipe cut looks like something you would find in a Lifetime movie. It's fitting as Blame feels like just that, a Lifetime movie (but not NEARLY as good), but with a clear, over-the-top message that comes across quite blatantly in the film's ridiculous conclusion.

I wish I could get an abortion, but mommy says I'm "too young." What a crock of shit.

And oh boy is the ending shot of Blame so completely moronic and silly that I actually fell back, slack jawed in amazement. It's embarrassing for all of those behind the film with this clear stance taken on abortion that does nothing more than alienate its audience. Outside of the abortion message of the film, as well as with all of the women that get these abortions, including the Gloria character, there seems to be a message that women who get abortions are unstable or even slutty in a sense. Like women are without the ability to make smart decisions for themselves. Nice to know I spent 72 minutes of my life watching a misogynistic propaganda film that could barely keep my attention.

Who can kill a child? Apparently dumb loose women can.

6 Films to Keep You Awake: To(i)Let

Jaume Balagueró's entry into the 6 Films to Keep You Awake collection, To Let (Para entrar a vivir), is quite basic in premise, and clocking in at a measly 68 minutes, there is very little time to get all that complicated. The film follows Mario (Adrià Collado) and Clara (Macarena Gómez), a couple who, without much luck, have been searching high and low for a new apartment. With a child on the way Mario and Clara need something a little bigger, something befitting a new family, and Mario thinks he may have found the perfect place for the perfect price.

We first meet the couple as they are driving to their potential new home. It's quite the hike to actually get there, and when they finally do, it's a little less than what was expected. The building is located in a rundown and nearly vacant neighborhood - one that looks like a great place for meth use and dead body storage, as opposed to PTA meetings and soccer practice. With dwindling hopes that the interior may outweigh the exterior, they check out the pad anyways, but as luck would, or would not, have it, the place is rundown and near unlivable. They quickly decide that this will not be the right place for them to start a family and set to go on their merry way. Unfortunately for Mario and and Clara, the landlady (Nuria González) thinks otherwise and the couple find themselves trapped in the apartment building - an apartment building run by a madwoman.

To Let starts off with a bang and, as I mentioned, it's a very short movie, so it hits hard and fast (like yer maahm does), getting right into the meat and taters (again, like yer maahm does), completely skipping the appetizer altogether. The viewer is introduced to Mario and Clara and, with minimal, straight to the point back-story under the film's belt, it puts them almost immediately in danger as they are trapped in the apartment building against their will. This opening works great and shows some real promise as it caught me off guard with how quickly and unexpectedly things went down South for the protagonists.

On top of the balls-to-the-wall start, To Let has a gorgeous location; the aesthetic of the grimy and muted, graffiti ridden neighborhood looks fantastic. It feels almost like a European version of '80s/'70s New York with this gray and dead demeanor, which is only added to by the downpour of rain enveloping the already grim surroundings. That appealing appearance carries right over into the apartments building's rusty and dusty interior, with chipped paint, curled up wallpaper and cockroaches abound. If anything were to standout outside of the location and set design, To Let is also magnificently shot and edited. Pablo Rosso's cinematography is impressive to say the least, and all of these aspects I have gone over in this review thus far had me thinking I was in for a fantastic ride.                  

In what could easily be described as style over substance, To Let unfortunately falls flatter with far more than a simple lack of substance, and the longer the short film runs, the worse things get. I was pretty high and mighty for much of the first half but, as To Let went on, I found my enjoyment of it starting to dwindle to the point of complete dislike. Mario and Clara are trapped in an apartment building by this mad landlady who is obsessed with keeping her grotesque complex filled with unwilling tenants. She thinks what she is doing is okay, but she is clearly delusional as she acts out landlord/tenant situations with tenants that are bound and gagged.

I'm okay with the familiar concept, and I'm okay with the basic premise, but when things began to get ridiculous I started to check out, no matter how nice looking the movie is. I can suspend my disbelief with the best of them, but to think that a middle aged, scrawny lady has the ability to keep captive and one up all of the couples that she has, is simply moronic. There is a scene where Mario has the chance to whack her right on the back of the head, but he hesitates for the slightest second, which is just enough time for her go on the offensive and overpower this fully grown man. Even when she is knocked down and nearly out at one point, the couple run away from her, squandering a chance to stop her for good, or at least incapacitate her so she is no longer a threat.

There is a point in To Let where I just started to get pissed off, and it's at that point where every little lame thing began to stick out and force me to shake my head in disbelief (especially the dream within a dream, within a dream sequence). For a film to come out swinging with it's head clearly in the game, only to suddenly lose focus and stagger away from what it started is a major disappointment. You have a slightly corny but serviceable idea that is introduced properly then executed poorly, which is very unfortunate with how incredibly attractive the package is on the outside. If things were just kept simple and remotely believable, this could have been a serious contender; yet all that is left is a pile of steaming substance in an un-flushed TOiLET. 

6 Films to Keep You Awake: Stir of Diapers

With a newborn baby in tow, newlyweds Juan and Sofia are just getting their family started together as they move into their dream home. Being new parents in an unfamiliar place, the couple decide to use a hand me down baby monitor to keep tabs on their new edition. The reassurance is nice, however, on the very first night Juan hears strange noises coming from the baby monitor, noises that sound very much like someone is talking. This obviously frightens Juan and, in turn, Sofia, but they chalk it up to a faulty monitor. Regardless, Juan feels a bit uncomfortable about what happened, so he goes out and buys a brand-new top of the line baby monitor - complete with an infrared camera - so he can keep a close eye on his newborn. Unfortunately, instead of finding reassurance, Juan learns there is someone (or something) else sharing the house with the him and his family.

Directed by Álex de la Iglesia, The Baby's Room (La habitación del niño) mainly focuses on Juan (Javier Gutiérrez), as it is him who is seeing and hearing these strange things coming from the baby’s bedroom. While friends and co-workers would like to, no one really believes what Juan claims he is hearing and seeing, and that includes his own wife. Juan is afraid someone is out to hurt his family, and he would do anything to protect them, but unfortunate events unfold in a way that make Juan seem less than stable as a father and husband. He becomes paranoid, believing that there's someone out to hurt his child or even his wife, Sonia, and it gets to the point that he himself may pose a threat to his family. His paranoia feeds an obsession with figuring out what is going on, whether or not it is hurting his relationship, his family or even his job.

The Baby's Room is along the lines of films like Candyman, Stir of Echoes or any movie that has a character with a questionable and/or possibly dangerous obsession involving a haunted past. Whether or not it's Juan's imagination that is causing all of this, he is seeing things, which gives him more than enough of a reason to be infatuated. And it's what Juan sees that is one of the stronger pieces of the film. The infrared baby monitor is nicely used for some genuinely creepy scares, and, much like we all saw in the One Night in Paris video, the baby's glowing eyes are unsettling all by themselves. Now, add in some random dude suddenly appearing next to that baby, and you're talking straight shit stains.

The baby monitor is a good device to generate scares as well as adding a hair of originality to an otherwise all too common idea. Now, even though the film does have a familiar storyline - and you'll have a good idea what the conclusion could be - The Baby's Room keeps the secret fairly safe. I never knew exactly where the movie was going, even if I had a good idea of where it could end up. Nevertheless, it is a properly executed film on most every other level outside of originality. Smooth camera work, an intense score, great settings, some creative ideas with the baby monitors, and strong acting from both Javier Gutiérrez and Leonor Watling (as the extremely gorgeous Sonia).

As a whole, The Baby's Room is very light on kills, but there is one that I must mention as it is simply incredible. Keeping things spoiler free, there is one death that has the perfect mix of brutality, blood and extreme realism. The music used is seriously intense, and the whole scene plays out in such a frightening and gruesome way that I can't help but compare it to that of classic Argento.

As is the case with most of the features in the 6 Films to Keep You Awake set, The Baby's Room is a shorter film, only running at 80 minutes. This is something that works in the film's favor in some ways, but hurts it in others. There is a lot that happens in this short running time, so the filmmakers did a commendable job trimming the fat. However, things do feel a little rushed at times, but even then, I have seen so many characters go crazy in this type of film that I very much appreciated how lean it is.

In the end, The Baby's Room is a superbly made horror flick with some well-timed scares that effectively filled-up my diaper with the quickness. Even with a recognizable story, it's a film that executes well enough to keep things from getting stale. It's not perfect, but The Baby's Room is a solid entry into the world of Spanish horror; in fact, it's good enough to stand on its own, even outside of the 6 Film's set.

6 Films to Keep You Awake Intro and A Christmas Tale Re-Doo!

As I mentioned a handful of posts back, I will be posting reviews for all six of the films found in the 6 Films to Keep You Awake collection. Now, I wrote these reviews way back and, for whatever reason, just never got to posting them. Well, I decided I needed to put these sumbitches up, but I wanted to start with the one film in the set that I had previously reviewed, A Christmas Tale. I reviewed A Christmas Tale as part of the first ever celebration known as Death-cember and figured I could repost it (with a few grammatical edits, of course) since I am posting the other films. It make things a little more complete, plus it works as a good introduction to the series of films (and it means I don't have to explain the set all over again, too), so I hope you enjoy this and all of the other reviews to come!

In 2008, Lionsgate released 6 Films to Keep You Awake, a conglomeration of six (no shit, right?) somewhat short Spanish horror films from different directors, most of whom are of Spanish decent. The mastermind behind the this set is Narciso Ibáñez Serrador of Who Can Kill A Child fame and with us being knee deep in Death-cember, the no-brainer film to be discussed from this set is 2005's A Christmas Tale (Cuento de Navidad).

Written by Luis Berdejo and directed by Paco Plaza (both of whom also worked as writer and co-director of the fantastic Spanish zombie film, [REC]) A Christmas Tale is about five pre-teen kids that stumble upon a woman dressed in a Santa suit, trapped in a large deep hole in the woods. They decide to help her out, but when two of the boys go to the police, they discover that the woman is wanted for robbing a bank for two million pesetas. Not sure how much that is, but I bet it's enough to be in some big trouble.

With this information, the children decide not to help the woman out of her trappings, but instead of calling an adult or telling the police about the woman, these kids take a very different route. Even at such a young age greed rears its ugly head, and a few of the kids decide to try and get their hands on the stolen money from this unintentionally trapped thieving Santa using the leverage of her unfortunate situation. Cross dressing Santa's aren't down with extortion, but with a choice of losing all of her money or being trapped in a massive hole and left to die, well, there's no real wiggle room there.

At a scant 71 minutes, A Christmas Tale works like two very different films in terms of tone. The first half is almost like a kid's movie right out of the '80s and is very reminiscent of films like Stand By Me and the Brian Trenchard-Smith film, The Quest (man I loved that movie). It is set in 1985, and the film successfully conveys how life was for a lot of kids that age, at that time.

If you're in your mid-20s to mid-30s, you will love all of the bad-ass retro movies and TV shows that these children are in to. They use code names that are all character names from the A-Team; one kid is completely obsessed with the Karate Kid (I still am); there are glimpses of bedrooms filled with Star Wars toys (you know, before the prequels) and Ghostbusters stuff strewn about; and a few of the characters even watch what plays as a film within a film titled, Zombie Invasion, which is reminiscent of a cheap Italian Exploitation Zombie film. All of this really serves no other purpose than to show that these kids are into the same stuff many of us were when we were kids, and I am assuming the filmmakers were into themselves at that age.

All of the throw-back stuff is very well done and really brings a true sense of nostalgia in how it is all captured; more importantly, it brings about a sense of connection to the characters as you can see a bit of yourself in these kids in one way or another. However, just how far does that connection go? That is where the film takes a turn from fun '80s kids movie to a much darker place, when a few of the characters become quite manipulative, which shows how even youth can be driven by greed and power, just as adults can be.

We are all like the kids in many ways, but most of us would do differently in such a situation. Others...maybe not so much. The way a few of the characters treat their siblings and this woman, who is essentially bad but still a human, shows how evil some people can be when put into certain situations. There are certain consequences in making the decisions that they do make, and without getting into too much detail, when the woman escapes her unholy hole (that sounds so vaginal), she is not all too pleased about what the children did to her.

Outside of the trapped Santa, there are no adults to be "physically" seen in this film, which shows you that these kids are in their own little world, almost living by their own rules. All of the young actors in A Christmas Tale are very solid and believable in their roles, and all but one of the children are boys, with the lone girl being played by a pre-Pan's Labyrinth Ivana Baquero. Maru Valdivielso as the trapped thief in a Santa suit is fantastic, and when you get into the more horrific elements of this film, she is quite scary and effective, making for a great villain of sorts.

A Christmas Tale is an enjoyable, nostalgia filled romp that is well made and not commonly seen these days. The feeling of retro-kids films is spot on, and the horror elements are all in place for a fun holiday fueled ride that is well worth a watch during the Christmas anytime of the season.

A Christmas Tale

In 2008, Lionsgate released 6 Films to Keep You Awake, a conglomeration of six (no shit, right?) somewhat short Spanish horror films from different directors, most of whom, are of Spanish decent. The mastermind behind the this set is Narciso Ibáñez Serrador of Who Can Kill A Child fame and with us being knee deep in Death-cember, the no-brainer film to be discussed from this set is 2005's A Christmas Tale (Cuento de Navidad).

Written by Luis Berdejo and directed by Paco Plaza, who are the writer and co-director of the fantastic Spanish zombie film, [REC], A Christmas Tale is about five pre-teen kids that stumble upon a woman dressed in a Santa suit and trapped in a large deep hole in the woods. They decide to help her out, but when two of the boys go to the police, they discover that the woman is wanted for robbing a bank for two million pesetas.

With this information, the children decide not to help the woman out of her trappings, but instead of calling an adult or telling the police for that matter, these kids take a different route. A few of the youths decide it would be a good idea to try and get the stolen money from this unintentionally trapped thieving Santa, using the leverage that she cannot get out without their help. Cross dressing Santa's aren't down with extortion, but with a choice of losing all of her money, or being trapped in a massive hole and left to die, well, there's no real wiggle room there.

At a scant 71 minutes, A Christmas Tale works like two very different films in terms of tone. The first half is almost like a kid's movie right out of the 80's and is very reminiscent of films like Stand By Me and the Brian Trenchard-Smith film, The Quest (man I loved that movie). It is set in 1985, so you see a film set in that time period, that is also successfully conveying how life was for a lot of kids that age, at that time.

If you are in your mid 20's to mid 30's, you will love all of the bad-ass retro movies and TV shows that these children are in to. They use code names that are all characters from the A-Team, one kid is completely obsessed with the Karate Kid (I still am), and you get glimpses of bedrooms filled with Star Wars toys and Ghostbusters stuff strewn about. A few of the characters watch what is a film within a film titled Zombie Invasion, which is like an Exploitation Zombie movie that is inter-cut into A Christmas Tale. It serves no other purpose than to show that these kids are into the same stuff many of us were when we were kids and I am assuming the filmmakers were into also.

This is very well done and really brings a fun sense of nostalgia in how it is all captured, and it brings about a sense of connection to the characters as you can see a bit of yourself in these kids in one way or another. How far does that connection go though? That is where the film takes a turn from fun 80's kids movie, to a much darker place when a few of the characters become manipulative and it shows how even youth can be driven by greed and power.

We are all like the kids in many ways and most of us would do differently in such a situation. Others...maybe not so much. The way a few of the characters treat their siblings and this woman, who is essentially bad, but still a human, shows how evil some people can be when put into certain situations. There is also consequence in making the decisions that are made and without getting into too much detail, when the woman escapes her unholy hole; she is not too pleased about what the children did to her.

Outside of the trapped woman, there are no adults to be "physically" seen in this film, which shows you that these kids are in their own little world, almost living by their own rules. All of the youthful actors in A Christmas Tale are very solid and believable in their roles, and all but one of the children are boys, with the lone girl being played by a pre-Pan's Labyrinth Ivana Baquero. Maru Valdivielso as the trapped thief in a Santa suit is fantastic and when you get into the more horrific elements of this film, she is quite scary and effective and makes for a great villain of sorts.

A Christmas Tale is an enjoyable, nostalgia filled romp that is very well made and something that is not commonly seen these days. The feeling of retro-kids films is spot on and the horror elements are all in place for a fun holiday fueled ride that is well worth a watch for the Christmas season. I cannot stress enough what a great bargain the 6 Films to Keep You Awake is; with 6 semi-short Spanish horror films for under $20, you just can't beat it.