Baby Babble: Heavy Liftin’ and High Kickin’

Hey guys. How’s it going? That’s cool. I’m doing well, thank you. I know I haven’t been around much, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about you. Because I have. In fact, I think about you a lot. Like a lot lot.

Besides thinking about you, I’ve also been getting around a bit, and I don’t mean sexually (yes I do). To be more specific, I was asked to play guest host on an episode of the buffest podcast on the planet: CULT OF MUSCLE!  In this very special episode, I join Jake and CDR as they kick off Sleazy Summer, a month-long, multi-podcast sleaze-a-thon featuring podcast heavyweights such as Hammicus, The Feminine Critique, The Trashy Trio, Married With Clickers, Silva and Gold, and The Gentleman's Guide to Midnite Cinema. Seriously, shit is epic.

In any event, Jake, CDR and myself covered a pair of doozies: 1979’s BLOODRAGE and 1983’s CROSS COUNTRY! It was an absolute blast partaking in such an epic event, and if you aren’t already listening to Cult of Muscle on the regular, no time is better than now to start. Believe you me when I say that these two studs deliver on one of the most enjoyable film podcasts on the planet. Shit, in the universe, even!

If you’d like to check out the episode. and I know you do, you can hit the link below to listen. Alternatively, you can find Cult of Muscle on iTunes, where you should subscribe and listen to them every day until you die. Or until you run out of episodes to listen to. At that point, well, you can just listen weekly.

Cult of Muscle:  Episode 80 - Sleazy Summer Kick Off

Hey, that might seem like a whole lot to take in, but that’s not all I have for you! In fact, my good buddy Karl Bezdin is celebrating the five year anniversary of Fist of B-List, and to help him celebrate, he asked ME to provide a guest post!

Seeing as this is such a special occasion, being a five year anniversary and all, I had to bring the thunder, or at least try to, and I did so with a ridiculous post addressing the importance of being properly dressed to survive an American Martial Arts film. You really never know when you’ll find yourself fighting for your life in a ninja training camp that doubles as a major cocaine operation, so it’s best that you dress the part, and the best way to prepare yourself is by hitting the link below!

4 Items You Must Have In Your Wardrobe to Survive an American Martial Arts Movie

Okay, that about does it. Again, I apologize for not being around so much, but as you can see I’ve been fairly busy playing guest host as well as getting ready for

You can pick up your jaw now.

Beard-Os And Badasses: The Punks Who Took Film News Underground

There is an new documentary in the works; a documentary that will explore how, through the internet, movie fans were able to take a hold of film news and criticism, adding their own voice for the world to hear. Beard-Os And Badasses focuses on a small movement that would become a revolution, and it’s this revolution that would come to inspire cinephiles across the world to create blogs, websites and podcasts of their own, forever changing the landscape of film criticism and news.

Now, I’ve been doing Chuck Norris Ate My Baby for nearly five years, and I have written for numerous websites and blogs throughout that time. I have also been very fortunate to become friends with a number of incredible people over the years as a direct result of communities that are built on blogging and podcasts. So needless to say, a documentary such as this really speaks to me in many ways.

With that being said, Beard-Os And Badasses is a masterpiece waiting to happen, but it needs a little help from good people like you and me. There are two ways you can help: donate to the Kickstarter and help spread the word. Simple, right?

Here’s a Kickstater video and press release with more info about this badass project and how YOU can help:

This was a movement bigger than any one site, more significant than a name. BEARD-Os AND BADASSES: The Punks Who Took Film News Underground is a new documentary film project that has exploded onto Kickstarter. In 1995 when Patrick Sauriol flipped the switch on his film news website Corona Coming Attractions, it changed everything. No longer was film reporting and criticism, in the exclusive hands of the few, privileged elite. For the first time, fans and enthusiasts threw their keyboards in the ring, and a revolution was launched.

BEARD-Os AND BADASSES, the feature length debut from Geoff Todd and H. Perry Horton, will be an in-depth look at The Punks who took control of an out of control and outdated mechanism. There were false starts, missteps, and plenty of controversy, but a revolution was launched that changed the entire landscape of American film journalism and criticism. It is the goal of this film to document each step, but we need your help.

Join the Revolution on Kickstarter, Already in Progress!

• Go to: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1034909631/beard-os-and-badasses
• Follow Us on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/beardosthemovie
• Like Us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/beardosthemovie
• Visit http://beardosandbadasses.com for more updates and ways to help!

We can't make this movie without you and we are going to do everything we can to make sure the world knows you helped us out. Pre-production is done; the next step is up to you. It's like a choose your own adventure book, only you end up with a cool as hell film and some killer rewards instead of a cheesy ending you saw coming from a mile away.

This is BEARD-Os AND BADASSES: The Punks Who Took Film News Underground!

Ninjas, Wrestling and Jean-Claude, OH MY!

Hey kid! Yeah, you… you into podcasts? How about cult movies? Well, then I think I have something you might be interested in.

See this stuff? That’s right, it’s The Lair of the Unwanted. Good stuff. Gets you real high, if you know what I mean. Take a few of these and enjoy as Jason, Nolahn and myself yap on lovingly about the 1989 wrestling masterpiece, No Holds Barred. 

You can listen to our review of No Holds Barred by subscribing to The Lair of the Unwanted on iTunes OR you could get it over with and listen to the episode by clicking the link below.

The Lair of the Unwanted Episode 76: No Holds Barred

---

Now, you can’t just take a dose of The Lair of the Unwanted without balancing it out with a few uppers. But don’t worry, I got you covered, kid. Why don’t you try out a few episodes of the Midnite Ride, in which Karl Brezdin from Fist of B-List and I cover 1987’s Sakura Killers and 1991’s Double Impact. 

You can check out each of these episodes by hitting the links below. Just make sure you don’t take them both at the same time.

Midnite Ride Episode 24: Double Impact

Midnite Ride Episode 25: Sakura Killers

Okay kid, these first few podcasts are on me. If you or any of your little friends need any more, you come see me, and I’ll hook you up with a good deal. Also, if anyone asks where you got these podcasts, it wasn’t me, okay kid? Now get outta here, why don’t ya!

A Gentlemanly Kickboxing Match

Guys, I have some terrible news... my brother, Eric, was injured in a kickboxing match against a vicious, braided ponytail wearing jerk face named Tong Po. Why he would do something as vile as crippling such a handsome young man is beyond me, but I have vowed to avenge my brother’s crippled state by staying in Thailand and training in the fine art of Muay Thai so I can take out Tong Po! And I don’t mean to dinner, either.

While I am confident that my soul-searching absence is already difficult for you to deal with, I do have a special gift for you, and it comes in the form of the latest episode of The Gentlemen’s Guide to Midnite Cinema, where yours truly joined two masters of podcasting, Big Willy and the Samurai, in an epic review of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Kickboxer! In what is a reach around filled episode, we tackle Kickboxer, bad coffee creamer, menstruation, and Van Damme’s perfect ass, and that’s only the half of it!

If you don’t already listen to The Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema, then believe you me, you are absolutely missing out on what is the finest film podcasts on the market. If you even remotely enjoy what you see here of CNAMB, you will LOVE what you get with this fantastic podcast. These guys are not only great people, they are great friends, and to finally be able to join them for some on-air film discussion is certainly an honor, so please take some time to check out the episode for yourself!

• Listen to the Episode
• Direct Download
• The Gentlemen’s Guide to Midnite Cinema on iTunes
• The Gentlemen’s Blog to Midnite Cinema
• The Gentlemen’s Facebook Page

Baby Babble: Chopping the LAMB and Other Random Nonsense

 

*Burp* I seriously cannot believe it's been an entire month since I've posted anything. It's not like I don't have anything I could post, it's just that I'm weird, so stop looking at me like that, okay! I will be posting some shit soon, I promise, but for this moment in time I have a few things to go over with you, so sit back, relax and allow me to take you on a journey to the other side… of your mind!

First up, Jason of Invasion of the B-Movies and Nolahn of Barging Bin Review were kind enough to once again allow me to join them for an episode of The Lair of the Unwanted. In this awesome episode, we talk about the '80s killer robot masterpiece, Chopping Mall, and I also play The Game of the Unwanted, in which I had to put up my trivia dukes and show my knowledge of Mall stores as well as Wes Craven's Scream. We also did an off-the-cuff version of Ask the LAMB (which I will go over in a little more detail in just a sec.), so make sure you tune in, drop out and turn it up! Or however that saying goes.  

 

---

Alright, as I mentioned in the last paragraph, there is this thing called Ask the LAMB, a somewhat new feature over at The Large Association of Movie Blogs that gives readers the opportunity to ask a handpicked ragtag group of LAMB members (myself included) a question. Generally the questions are movie related, and so far we've been hit up with some pretty interesting (and sometimes strange) inquiries, and the result is some even more interesting and often hysterical answers.

Here's the question I was lucky enough to tackle this time around: 

Yahoo! User #9 Asks:
I'm an aspiring director. I'm looking to shoot my own short film. I
have actors & a hotel room. Any ideas?

If you'd like to read my answer or submit a question of your own, head over to The LAMB for more!

---

Last things last, though this is a case where last is certainly not least, I went an entire month without even mentioning Halloween on this blog, and I sort of did that on propose. You see, I kind of killed Halloween last year with getting way into it way too soon, and by the time the actual day had arrived, I was a little worn out. This is something that I thought could never happen. Now, there were other factors that played into this fatigue, but I didn't want to take the risk of letting something like that happen again, so I figured I'd take it nice and smooth, just the way you like it. 

Anyway, I cannot go on any longer without mentioning that Halloween is indeed on it's way, and with it comes the fourth annual celebration known as Chucktober! And while I have been keeping my Halloween and Chucktober excitement bottled up for the most part, don't think that it hasn't been on my mind for the past month, because it certainly has, and I am extremely excited! I've already begun putting some stuff together for what I hope will be the finest Chucktober yet, with some returning features, a handful of movie reviews and whatever other random shit pops up between now and "the big day." I know I'm looking forward to it, and I hope you do, too!  

Alrighty, I've already taken enough of your time up, so for now I shall leave you with this…

Fly Like Paper: Mephisto's Castle's Sinister Spotlight Featuring ME!

A few months back, the always-magnificent Jose of Mephisto's Castle asked if I would join him in a powerlifting tournament sponsored by Gatorade and Molson Golden, which I naturally accepted. Unfortunately, that was before I hurt my back trying to learn how to do a proper Buffalo Stance, leaving me laid up and out of commish for six to eight weeks. As a result, Jose became very sad and he did a lot of uncontrollable crying and nose blowing, but then it came to him: instead of having me be his partner in the powerlifting tournament sponsored by Gatorade and Molson Golden, he could invite me to be a guest host for his Sinister Spotlight podcast! And guess what? He did, and I said yes!

Jose asked me to pick a movie for us to talk about, and the film I chose was none other than the 1986 Cronenberg masterpiece, The Fly, a film I absolutely, positively adore. Outside of some minor microphone issues on my end - which take away from my hysterical jokes - the conversation was nothing short of wonderful. Jose and I dug deep and dissected The Fly in a way that only Geena Davis was ever able to, and if you are even remotely a fan of the film, I implore you to take the time to listen to us babble on like Babylon?

Chuck Norris Gets All Up In Your Ears!

*For the record, that is the greatest image ever*

I was very recently asked to take part in an episode of The Lair of the Unwanted, a monthly podcast put on by Jason from Invasion of the B Movies and Nolahn of Bargain Bin Review. Now, why in the hell would anyone ever want to talk to me about anything? Well, they just so happened to be doing an episode dedicated to the one and only Chuck Norris, so by blog name default, I was asked to join in on the bearded convo. The films covered are Breaker! Breaker!, Slaughter in San Francisco (aka Karate Cop!) and, the cream of the Chuck Norris crop, Lone Wolf McQuade!

I had a heck of a time taking part in this special Norris themed episode, as the conversation was quite exhilarating as was the subject matter. It didn't hurt that both Nolahn and Jason are two cool cats that have a true appreciation for some of the finer things in bad cinema. So, if you'd like to hear a sometimes muffled me mumble too close to my mic, do an imitation of Carrie from Sex and the City, or hear a lame joke about how Chuck Norris inadvertently freed the slaves, then click that play button below for crying out loud!

Snots, Sniffles, and Conversations in the Dark

I, as in me, as in the guy that is typing this right now, is the latest guest on B-Sol’s Conversations in the Dark podcast! You can listen to us talk about horror directors that haven’t stayed relevant and why that is. It was a great conversation and I had a buh-last doing it, so head over to The Vault of Horror and listen to me and my wicked sinus infection! Thanks to B-Sol for having me as a guest and being a big listener of podcasts, it was very cool being involved with one! Hope you hoes dig it!