Automaton Tran"snooze"ion

Shot in 9 days on a $30,000 budget and released by Dimension Extreme...sounds like a recipe for a horror movie that I would certainly enjoy. Or maybe not. Automaton Transfusion is a 2006 Zombie film written and directed by Steven C. Miller, and for some odd reason got a little positive buzz from the likes of Fango (having the film in their top 10 of '06!), and Bloody Disgusting. I'm not sure what the reviewers were thinking when watching this film, maybe they were thinking that the movie is good, when compared to diarrhea. I still disagree.

When you make a film in 9 days for 30k, I am looking for something creative and smart, even with their limited means. I'm looking for passion, passion that drives a filmmaker, or group of filmmakers to put out the best product they can with everything going against them. I'm also looking for some type of entertainment in the movie, whether it be of a serious nature, or even if it's straight camp, I want to have a sense of fun. I love low budget horror films and I even cut them a lot of slack knowing that they have immense challenges to face with things like no money and time. However Automechanic Transporter is a failure on many levels that budget and time do not seem to make a factor in. It's poor story is not even worth going over as it is completely pointless and similar to so many Zombie films, Zombie films that are much, much better in other areas, therefore, making up for their uncreative story. I'll give you the quickie...and I will include spoilers too, so be warned my child

Teenagers are in high school, some of them go to this lame concert while a bunch of other kids go to some party or a dance at the school. Blah blah blah...Zombies attack the cool concert kids and they try to survive the attack...and also attempt to make it back to the high school to help out any possible survivors. How noble. There is a reason for all this "Zany Zombie Madness," and it has to do with government testing done during 'Nam, where the government tried to create Zombie soldiers to fight on the battlefields, therefore preserving human lives. Blah blah blah again...guess what? The Zombies got out of control, and started craving human flesh! Good thing they did, or else we wouldn't have Automaton Transfusion now would we?!

Big issue with the poor story is, the story is poor!? Okay, the plot is unoriginal, but that can sometimes be okay when you have a well-written script with good dialogue and things actually make sense. In Automatic Transmission, the first Zombie attack on the high school kids happens and then almost the entire town is infected without the main characters knowledge that anything is going on. There was no bridging the gaps, or connecting scene showing how it could have spread from one person to another. I know there were a budget and time concerns, but this could have been done very easily with a quick scene, or a shot even, of a Zombie walking into a crowd of students or something along those lines. Also, outside of the main couple of characters, any supporting characters are lost in translation and serve to be nothing more than people for me to ask myself..."who the fuck is that again?" Time and distance are not of human proportions either...the main group of guys go to a concert an hour away from home, then from the city where the concert is located, it is a half mile to the high school? Or maybe that was explained when I was sleeping...

That's the worst thing ever by the way...a movie that is a scant 75 minutes long, and I am still so bored that I almost feel asleep twice. Automatinence Transatlantic was so boring that I completely lost all interest by the films half way point and just didn't care anymore. If the movie changed pace and got all badass in the second half, or even the last 10 or so minutes, I would have at least gotten something out of it. It never does though - the movie remains boring throughout...biggest offense for a movie in my book. An even bigger offense...in complete spoiler territory, but warranted for ending on a "To Be Continued" note! Really? To be continued from 2006 to 2010 when Automaton Transfusion: Contingency is set to come out?! Talk about a cliff hanger!
Maybe the biggest problem is something that was apparently a "stylistic" choice in Automatic Coffeemaker. It's shot on digital, but it looks incredibly awful - like worse that many lower budgeted films I have seen. It would seem that they tried to use a style in the vein of Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later with the DV looking documentary type shaky-cam. That was Danny Boyle; he is an amazing filmmaker and can pull of such a look and style with his masterful film making skill. This is a $30,000 dollar movie from a first time director. It is very hard to make out any of the action in the film at all, and the entire time it looks like the movie is missing every other frame as it jerks around and looks all blurry. Terrible decision.

"Every generation has a horror film that defines its culture" claims the trailer for Automated Transponder. If your culture is hardcore music, then maybe. I've always been kind of a fan of hardcore music, so I can dig some of the music in the film, but it doesn't fit most of the time and feels like it is put in because it's music that the filmmakers like, not music that fits in with any scene in particular. It is very distracting to say the least...especially when they mix in that hybrid hardcore/emo crap where the vocalist sings all pretty - then screams in retaliation to his previous pussy singing. Really annoying. It's as if they think that what they are into is they way of life that will overcome all ways of life with such an obnoxious blanket statement about culture. I feel like Automaton Transfusion is an excuse to make a movie so they can have friends wearing cool band shirts and play their favorite music instead of focusing on story and film making. "This is our movie, for our generation!" Eat me.

Along with that lack of focus, comes the over focus of being all to horror movie hip. There is an eye gouge scene (that is well done) that is clearly inspired by Fulci, there is also a scene where the kids gear up for battle, ala, "tool shed" from Evil Dead II. They even go as far to have a character pick up a chainsaw and mutter the line "Ash would be proud!" No, he wouldn't. This is something that can be fun in a movie occasionally, but those homage’s in particular are way over done and are not so cute and fun anymore.

There were a few okay things about Automobile Traction, the acting wasn't too bad for a an independent/no-budge. horror movie, and while the dialogue wasn't very good, there were a few fun lines. One being when a character punches a Zombie in the head and knocks him out, he then calls the Zombie an asshole. It's funny to me at least. Rick Gonzalez does the make up which was a major stand out in this otherwise pile of crap movie. One scene, a girl gets her jaw ripped clean off her face. It looks great and very realistic...and it's a complete waste of an awesome gag - I think it should be inserted into Dance of the Dead or something that is actually decent. The only other cool thing that happened was when a pregnant girl gets her baby pulled right from out of her belly by a Zombie, who then, in true Chuck Norris fashion, takes a few bites out of it - the mom replies with "Oh my god...my baby!" How about your stomach?! Outside of those scenes and a few others, the blood and grue are wasted due to the Parkinson's style of camera work.

One other stand out in a movie that is shot in 9 days is the multiple locations and how good they all look. They did a smart job filming this movie so quickly in so many different places, and I applaud that time management aspect. However, maybe more time could have been spent on a more personal movie with time spent to develop a better plot and story instead of cramming in all of this epic Zombie Apocalypse stuff. I still have to give it props either way as it is impressive, but it doesn't help the movie for me at all.

So, Automaton Transpooper is a complete waste of time, and I can't even suggest it to hardcore fans of Zombie films and low budget horror movies. There's potential, sure, but it is wasted on the wrong things. Filmmakers that are too concerned with the music and trying play hip and cool, instead of focusing on a decent story and originality. I have no desire to ever see this movie again, however, I do have the slightest of interest in the sequel just to see if anything was learned form the downfalls of the first film. I will add one more thing before I go, and it is positive. If you are a budding Independent filmmaker, Automatic Carwash does have a decent behind the scenes doc and commentary that will prove to be a helpful tool for those looking to learn a little somethin'-somethin'. Though, you have to skip over the two music videos that are included on the disc...