Finally, after a two week hiatus, The Horror Hangover is back and as mediocre as ever! I would love to be all sly and joking about that but this is not the cream of the crop as far as hangovers go. However, there is at least enough to motivate you all to wake from your deep slumber, grab the remote and wait for the pain to end.
As I said, there isn't a whole lot on, so I thought I would get fancy and include a TV show today, but it is a show that fits like a glove here at the hangover. Starting our day is a special episode of Ghost Adventures: The Beginning at 10:00 on the Travel Channel. This is actually the two-hour documentary that would go on to influence the series, so I certainly think it's kosher to include it, and if you have not seen the show before, then it is a must. In fact, here are four reasons why you should.
The forth reason is clearly Zak Bagans and his bod, of course. Speaking of bods, you might want to gas up that monster truck, 'cause we're taking a trip to the Road House at 1:30 over at VH1. I mean, this is Road House we're talking about here people, it's a tough guy classic starring the late great Pat Swayze, Pat's butt, Sam Elliott, Sam's mustache AND beard and a whole lot of ass kicking. No more need be said.
And taking us to an early death, SyFy will occupy the rest of the hangover with a slew of movies I am positive will deliver the goods. First up is the Tobe Hooper film, 2005's Mortuary, which is showing at 11:00. Hooper really fell off pretty hard, unfortunately, but I won't front, the trailer looks okay in a ridiculous and fun way. Still, I also read not one thing to support that thought, so I feel inclined to believe it isn't very good.
Next up on the SyFy platter of poop is a film titled Intermedio, which is showing at 1:00. The film is about a group of teens that are plagued by dangerous ghosts while being trapped in a Mexican border tunnel. Intermedio has a worse IMDB score than even Mortuary, but it does star Cerina Vincent, something I can certainly deal with.
Well, our day is now coming to a close with our last film, which is a 3:00 showing of The Cursed on SyFy. I'm beginning to think we may be the ones that are cursed with what SyFy is making us sit through this Sunday, but at least it's all over, right? Well, hopefully next week is a little better, but please make sure to brush your teeth before me meet. Yo shit smell like dragon farts.
Dude, Hooper's MORTUARY is actually not bad at all, at least the unedited-for-TV DVD version. But the only thing that sinks it is a lame fuckin' ending. Still, it's surprisingly watchable up until then.
ReplyDeleteAnd my breath always smells like dragon farts, thank you very much. It's supposed to be that way. It's my natural defense mechanism against predators. But it doesn't work on actual Predators, if you get my meaning.
i too pissed off Cerina Vincent, well i really didn't... i talked with her about 20 minutes in a lull in her signing line. at the end i didn't buy an autograph, which peeved off her manager... a lady who looked like the motel hell lady.
ReplyDeleteI would def go gay for Cerina Vincent.
ReplyDeleteAstro: That's because Predator's have Crab Rangoon breath, which is far worse than dragon breath.
ReplyDeleteMortuary looked okay from the trailer...kind of like a fun almost kids-ish horror film you would watch on Halloween. I would definitely watch it if you vouch for all but the end.
Zombie: I met her at a con, and I have a picture with her. I don't remember if I paid for it or not, but I would if I had to.
My experience was a solid one as I made a comment about being a tall freak when we stood next to each other, and she said that is was good to be tall. We for a bit and she was very nice, but I just chalk that up to her basically wanting me.
Girl: Ya know? What girl wouldn't? First off, she is gorgeous AND a Power Ranger!
So...
ReplyDeleteThese SyFy flicks are actually worth getting through?
Some of them are. They have their moments where they show some good stuff, then some bad. But if you have a choice between Road House and something on SyFy, Road House is the way to go!
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you were into Zak's bod! Dylan, Kingmob & I have some amazing twitter convos. You must join our Ghost Adventures Gang (gag lol)!!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I am so down for being in the gang it hurts! That show is by far one of the most entertaining shows I have ever seen! And Zak...oh that Zak. Gotta love his twitpics!
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