Dolemite (1975): Boom Goes the Dolemite

 

My first introduction to Rudy Ray Moore and his 1975 Blaxploitation classic, Dolemite, came in the form of the Xenon VHS release. My memory is a little fuzzy about the first time I watched Dolemite on my own, but I do distinctly recall putting the film on one night when a group of friends were over at my place. The results were as expected: lots and lots of uncontrollable laughter. Of course, being in our early 20s, we were consuming beverages of the alcoholic variety, which did nothing but make us even more susceptible to the hilarity that was unfolding on screen. It was a true party movie experience, and if my memory serves correct, the first time I had been in a larger group of people all together laughing and enjoying a film for being unintentionally silly.

Flash forward some 15-20 years, and once again Dolemite is back, and this time he’s being given his due in the form of a Blu-ray release by Vinegar Syndrome. The reason why I say given his due is because not only does Dolemite and the films of Rudy Ray Moore deserve the high-quality love that a company like Vin Syn can give, this is the first time Dolemite will be seen as intended, in its original aspect ratio of 1.85:1. Now, the reason why this is important is because every previous home video release of Dolemite, my VHS copy included, is in the wrong aspect ratio (full frame), which led to an unbelievable amount of shots where the boom mic is visible.

Naturally, the presence of a boom mic would make the film seem even more incompetent than it already is, so seeing it in the correct aspect ratio helps give the film a little more technical validity. With that said, even without the inordinate amount of sneaky boom mics, Dolemite remains one of the silliest and down right insane B-Movies ever made, and there’s really no aspect ratio that can change that.

Directed by D'Urville Martin, who is best known as an actor having starred in a number of significant Blaxploitation movies (Dolemite included), Dolemite is the simple tale of a pimp who looks to take out the people who had him sent to prison. This includes a handful of corrupt cops as well as Dolemite’s arch nemesis, Willie Greene (D’Urville Martin), all of whom will do whatever it takes to make sure Dolemite is sent back to prison, or worse yet, dead.

While the basic plotline is simple, Dolemite is far from a simple film. In fact, Dolemite is so sporadic and wild that it’s almost impossible to comprehend what anyone could have been thinking while making it. Dolemite feels more like a series of over-the-top vignettes poised to position Dolemite and performer Rudy Ray Moore as a sort of renaissance man with street cred than it does an actual film.

Much like the more well known Blaxploitation lead characters that came before him, Dolemite is a sort of ghetto superhero; a man who has risen above through sheer force of personality and presence, only to get what he wants, how he wants, when he wants, and all while sticking it to the man and anyone else who dares to cross his path. What you have here in Dolemite is a character who has nice cars, nice clothes, owns a nightclub, and even commands a small army of karate-trained prostitutes ready to do battle on his behalf. Dude has got it made, and he’s got it made because he made it for himself, by himself and shares it with those who stand by his side.

Throughout the course of Dolemite, there are numerous moments that feed into what is seemingly just a vanity project for Rudy Ray Moore. Moore, who attained minor recognition as a raunchy standup comedian, takes more than one opportunity to spew his creative and often hysterical rhymes. This is most significant during the third act of the film, where there is an uncomfortable amount of time dedicated to a stage show in Dolemite’s club. This includes everything from a musical performance, a tribal dance number and, naturally, a spoken word set via the man of the hour himself, Dolemite. All in all, the sequence is interesting because it’s a nice window into black culture of the time, and the performances are all genuinely great. However, it comes at the expense of pacing, as having an extended 15 minute stage show brings the film to a complete halt. Thankfully, this sequence leads to the film’s finale, which is a no holds barred action fest of silly inept karate moves and other various action atrocities.

The new Blu-ray release from Vinegar Syndrome is stellar and very much on par with what I have come to expect from the niche distribution label (their releases of Madman and Christmas Evil come HIGHLY recommended). The transfer – which was scanned and restored in 2k from a recently discovered 35mm negative – is impressive, with a good amount of detail and colors that pop right off the screen. It's very fitting for such a colorful movie (and such a colorful character at that). The special features are also noteworthy, with a solid 24 min documentary about the making of Dolemite, a full-frame “Boom Mic” version of the film and a 23 minute interview with Dolemite co-star and long-time collaborator, Lady Reed. The cream of the born insecure crop, however, comes from the commentary provided by Rudy Ray Moore biographer, Mark Jason Murray, which is insightful, and extremely informative about both the film and Moore himself.

Dolemite the film, and character alike, is funny (albeit unintentionally), it’s violent, vibrant, ridiculous, and sexy (well, it tries to be). It's exploitation at its finest, and never has there been a better time to jump on the Rudy Ray Moore train than now.

 

5 of the Best Vengeance Seeking Female Movie Characters

Revenge can come in all shapes, sizes and forms, but there is no form I love more than that of the vengeance seeking woman. Whether it be through sheer wit, extreme violence or a mixture of the two, there’s something so thrilling about watching a woman stick it to the man in a variety of ways. Especially when the proverbial man deserves such comeuppance.

For your consideration, I have compiled a list of five of the very best examples of vengeance seeking female characters.  

Sex and Fury (Furyô anego den: Inoshika Ochô)

A majority of vengeful characters start off as victims, but that would not be the case with Ochô Inoshika in 1973's Sex and Fury. Played by a very young Reiko Ike, Ochô is a low life criminal who has honed the ability to slice up mofos with her sword, making her more than capable of exacting her vengeance without any inclination of fear.

Sex and Fury is sleaze at it's best (the film also stars sleaze Queen Christina Lindberg!), but with as much sex and violence as the film has, it is beautifully made on all levels. In what is the movie's highlight, Ochô is attacked while bathing, which results in a fight scene for the ages. Quickly moving the fight outside, Ochô proceeds to take out each of her attackers one by one, in the snow, while being completely naked. During this scene, there is this wonderful shot where all that is seen is Ochô's legs as she dances around in the snowy exterior, with blood splatter and limbs hitting the snowy ground all around and her legs.

The scene is easily one of my all-time favorite fight scenes, and the music used to score it is just fantastic. Sex and Fury is exploitation done perfectly, as it takes an artistic approach to a film that is, for all intents and purposes, all about sex and violence.       

Ms. 45 aka Angel of Vengeance

1981's Ms. 45 is a rape revenge film starring Zoë Tamerlis Lund as Thana, a girl who is raped not once but twice in the same day. After she is able to fend off her second attacker by beating him to death with an iron, she takes her attackers weapon, a 45. caliber pistol, and keeps it for herself.

After these horrific events, Thana becomes fearful that any male she encounters is a violent rapist. Due to this fear, Thana goes on a killing spree, with the target's being men who, in her mind, would mean to do her harm. Thana takes this fear and uses it as a jumping off point to swap places and become the aggressor; the one with the upper hand. She uses her looks and sexuality to seduce (mostly) scummy men with the intent of setting them up so she can shoot them with her new 45. caliber pistol.

Director Abel Ferrara does what he does best, as he gets down and dirty in this New York set revenge film. Ms. 45 is a perfect example of how great the New York city aesthetic was for cinema during the ‘70s and ‘80s, and Ferrera encapsulates all the grit and grime of New York during this time period. The city works as a perfect backdrop for a woman who has become traumatized by fear, as any corner or dark alleyway could possibly contain her next attacker. Or in Thana’s case, her next victim.

Coffy

1973's Coffy is hands down one of my favorite Blaxploitation films. Written and directed by one of the greatest exploitation directors of all time, Jack Hill, Coffy is just one of many examples of the genre legend's fine work. The film stars the great Pam Grier in the titular role of Coffy, who promises to take out local drug pushers after her eleven-year-old sister is hospitalized after shooting up some bad heroin.

Coffy uses her sexuality to take her revenge – even pretending to be drugged up and looking for some action – as she lures unsuspecting scum to their deserving demise. There's plenty of sex mixed in with some great action via Coffy’s shotgun, but Coffy as a film is still played straight, opting to concentrate as much on the exploitation elements as it does the characters and story. This is a true testament to the respect Hill had for the movie he was making.

The character of Coffy is sexy, deadly, and smart, all the elements that make for a great revenge film character. Coffy is the film that put Grier on the exploitation map, and even though she's a little rough around the edge performance wise, she remains highly entertaining, especially in how well she delivers Hill’s fantastic dialogue.

(Sympathy for) Lady Vengeance (Chinjeolhan geumjassi)

In the third part of Chan-wook Park's near perfect Vengeance Trilogy, 2005's Lady Vengeance is a revenge tale by way of art house cinema. With each passing film in the Vengeance Trilogy, the visual prowess becomes more and more intense, and Lady Vengeance is the culmination of these efforts. Where the film stands out most, however, is with the character of Geum-ja Lee, as played flawlessly by Young-ae Lee.

Geum-ja spent 13 years of her life behind bars for a murder that she did not commit. Her tale of revenge is against the real murderer, a man who has, for far too long, gotten away with atrocities that would put fear into even the most jaded of hearts. Geum-ja is calculated, precise and very patient in how she goes about taking her revenge. She makes the right moves in prison by displaying maternal like qualities as she cares for her fellow inmates, even going as far as to donate an organ to someone who, in turn, will be forever indebted to Geum-ja. By the time she is released from prison, there are a number of paroled inmates who are more than willing to help Geum-ja, and she takes full advantage of their help to see that her vengeance is fulfilled.

Lady Vengeance is much like Geum-ja: calculated, precise and very patient. It slowly but strikingly burns, leading to an amazing final act and conclusion for the lead character.

Lady Snowblood (Shurayukihime)

In Toshiya Fujita's 1973 film Lady Snowblood, the beautiful Meiko Kaji portrays Yuki Kashima (aka Lady Snowblood), a character who is nothing more than an instrument created to avenge the injustices that her parents suffered.

Her father was murdered, her mother imprisoned and continuously raped, and it was this abuse that her mother went through that brought about Lady Snowblood. Yuki was purposely born for one reason and one reason only, and that is to seek vengeance for a family that she would never come to know and love. Nothing else. Revenge is her sole purpose in life and the reason for her existence. She's like a Terminator, but with far more style and grace.

Lady Snowblood is a brilliantly crafted film, filled with vibrant colors, beautiful cinematography and a fantastic score. It’s also extremely bloody and violent, and in a way that shows an immense amount of creativity.

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Thanks for digging into my list, and I very much encourage you to share your thoughts on my picks as well as share some of your favorite vengeance seeking female characters!

Inga (1968): A Sexual Odyssey

Soon after her mother passes away, Inga (Marie Liljedahl) is sent to stay with her aunt, Greta (Monica Strömmerstedt). Greta is an attractive middle-aged woman who only seems to be focused on two things: money and her much younger boyfriend, Karl (Casten Lassen). Unfortunately, however, Greta is broke, and without money to feed his gold digging ways, Greta risks losing Karl, too. Worse yet, Karl begins to show some interest in the pretty and significantly younger Inga, something that incites a touch of jealousy in Greta. As a way to stay financially stable as well as keep Karl by her side, Greta selfishly uses Inga as collateral, setting her up with a wealthy older man named Einar (Thomas Ungewitter) in exchange for weekly payments. This arrangement is unknown to Einar, however, as his sister is the one who set up the deal with the hope of making her brother happy.

Written and directed by Joseph Sarno, 1968’s Inga is a Swedish sexploitation film that is, at its heart, about a young, beautiful girl growing into adulthood. More so, however, it’s about a girl who will come to find herself sexually.

Inga is first introduced as she gently removes a sheer chiffon peignoir to reveal a modest nightgown. She then proceeds to make her way towards a set of shelves that are placed directly in front of the audience’s perspective. Located on the shelving are a number of children's wind-up toys, which Inga curiously inspects with a wide-eyed, almost childlike curiosity. As the music box style score adds to the playfulness of the scene, Inga spends a moment with each toy, smiling whimsically at the joy these simple items bring to her at this very moment.

After this introduction, the film cuts to a kinetic opening credit sequence that consists of numerous sexually charged teenagers dancing to some groovy psychedelic music. These free-spirited teenagers come in stark contrast to what we had seen from Inga only minutes before. In fact, this opening almost serves as the impetus for the journey ahead of Inga; a young, innocent and attractive 17-year-old girl who will see a major change in her life materialize throughout the course of an 82 minute film. This change will come in the form of a sexual awakening, as her childlike innocence at the beginning of the film will slowly shed to reveal a woman who is ready to embrace her sexuality, much like the dancing teenagers seen during the opening credits.  

Inga has been labeled as a softcore film – even receiving an X rating when originally released in the US (a re-release garnered an R) – but I place a big emphasis on the word soft. There is certainly a fair amount of nudity in Inga. There are even a number of highly sexualized situations. In fact, the entire tone of the film is driven by sex, which is essentially the point of a sexploitaiton film. With that said, this is 1968, and soft for 1968 is certainly tame by modern “soft” standards. You’ll definitely see a lot more “action” if you keep your channel tuned to Cinemax late at night.

Regardless of how tame it is compared to today’s standards, Inga is certainly an extremely erotic piece of cinema, and this is especially represented by a few key sequences. One of the more notable moments being a scene where Inga is standing in front of a mirror after a shower – examining her body in a way that would indicate she is beginning to acknowledge herself as a sexual being. Soon afterwards, Inga notices Karl peeping in her window from the street below. At this point, Inga does something quite out of character, as she begins to remove her clothing to reveal her nude body before putting on a lace nightgown – and she does so right in front of the window as Karl watches. This would be a turning point for Inga, as this event sets off a masturbatiry awakening of her sexual desires as Karl furiously revs the engine of his sports car before driving away in sexual frustration.

Something else worth noting is that Inga's curiosity for the playful toys in the film’s opening comes to be a clear echo of her curiosity for playful sexuality, and this theme carries on throughout the film in a number of fascinating ways. For example, early on there's a scene between Greta and Karl in which Greta picks up a wind-up toy drummer, turns its key a few times, and places it back down again. As the toy drummer begins rapidly playing his drum, Greta turns to Karl and the two begin passionately kissing. The furious drumming seemingly representing the rapid heartbeat of the two lovers as they are overtaken with sexual lust. Later on in the film, as Inga (who is accompanied by Einar) is about to go to sleep, she walks over to a wind-up toy marching band, picks it up and places it next to her bed before laying down. After Einar leaves her room so she can sleep – but not after the two share an innocent kiss – Inga winds up the toy marching band and captively watches as it walks off and towards the camera. It’s as if she is watching her innocence as a child walk away, leaving her adult self behind.

Despite being a sexploitation movie, Sarno shows a lot of respect for Inga and her sexuality. Never is Inga or her sexuality exploited in a mean or nasty fashion. In fact, as a film, Inga is more a celebration of womanhood as well as a celebration of a woman's growing sexual needs and desires. The liberating and artistic approach to Inga's erotic journey towards sexual adulthood is what makes Inga such an important sexploitation film, as Inga’s excursion is presented in a fascinating fashion that never compromises her innocence nor her independence.

 

Private Parts (1972): Filthy Fairytale

*Disclaimer!* I wrote a handful of articles for a now defunct e-zine called BthroughZ a number of years back, and when that site went belly up, so didn’t the reviews I wrote for it. I didn’t want to lose the articles I worked so hard to write, so over the next few months I will be reposting them here for your enjoyment.

1972’s Private Parts follows the exploits of an adventurous teenage girl named Cheryl (Ayn Ruymen). When Cheryl is first introduced, it is learned that she stole money from her parents and fled the state of Ohio with her best friend so they could live the high life in Los Angeles. After a less than positive run in with her best friend/roommate, Cheryl steals her friend’s wallet and flees the scene--just as she had done with her parents--to find something better than being judged and yelled at constantly.

With a small amount of cash and nowhere else to go, Cheryl makes her way to a rough area in L.A. and ultimately to her Aunt Martha’s (Lucille Benson) hotel. Not really a hotel as much as an apartment building, Cheryl talks Martha into letting her stay there for the time being, and in return, she will help out around the hotel to earn her keep. Filled with many eccentric and strange residents, this hotel is not the normal stomping ground for a youthful girl such as Cheryl. Furthermore, the hotel is filled with numerous dark and dangerous secrets, most notably being the hotel’s resident serial killer who preys on any unwanted trespassers.

While the hotel has a murderer running around it’s colossal hallways, Private Parts is not a slasher movie. There are certainly some elements, but this one is something entirely different. In fact, I would consider it to be more of a fantasy film, but a fantasy film that is definitely not made for kids. Well, unless they’re feral.

Cheryl’s proverbial ‘rabbit hole’ is the entrance to the seedy hotel, which is filled with fantastical characters who are clearly not facets of a ‘normal’ real world. All of the hotel’s inhabitants are odd and varied in their strangeness, with one character who frolics around dressed up as a priest but really seems to enjoy the company of big strong men. There’s the usual crazy old lady lurking the halls, spewing weird shit about a girl named Alice to anyone who will listen. And then there is George (John Ventantonio), a creepy photographer who mostly keeps to himself, but has some very unhealthy sexual issues.

Cheryl is attracted to George, whose reclusive and dark nature is undeniably appealing to Cheryl, and the two characters come to indirectly play a game of unhinged cat and naive mouse. However, mouse or not,  Cheryl is very much a willing participant in this game, and her fairytale adventure is mostly driven by her curiosity towards sex. Cheryl, who hates being looked at as a child, seems to believe the way to becoming respected as an adult is through sexual activity, and she pursues this activity in a fashion that’s both innocent and very aware.

Cheryl is driven by her sexual desire, and with a wide eyed curiosity she looks to do something that she is not familiar with; something that stimulates her growing feminine needs. Young or not, Cheryl isn’t intimidated by the more ‘out there’ aspects of sexuality. Some of the acts that George asks Cheryl to participate in are things that would creep out the average girl, especially a young one. This is not the case with Cheryl, as she seems to be intrigued by the sexual adventures, possibly seeing them as a way towards being liberated from childhood.

Ayn Ruymen, who plays Cheryl, is absolutely terrific. She is the driving force of the movie, and watching Cheryl slyly navigate the halls of the old hotel--curiously investigating all the little secrets that the hotel has to offer--is very enjoyable. This is really where you see that no matter how sexual she wants to be or thinks she is, Cheryl is just a kid; a child exploring a place that offers curiosities that most girls of her age would find to be taboo. Ruymen, who was much older than the age of her character, captures this youthful inquisitiveness very well, and it’s easy to feel as if you are right alongside Cheryl on her adventure.

While the fantasy and sexual elements are a major part of its DNA, Private Parts still has a lot of horror elements. The hotel setting is creepy and filled with many dark corners, creaky floorboards, and quirky little intricacies that make it a nice visual world for Cheryl to explore. Though they are few and far between, there are also a few murders, but the horror aspect of the film really comes from the undercurrent that something sinister is going on, and very few people seem to be aware of it.

The hotel does harbor a dark history, and this is further compounded by Aunt Martha’s constant warnings for Cheryl to stay inside and keep away from the other tenants. Under a seemingly normal and stable guise, Aunt Martha herself is as odd as the rest of them, especially the way in which her personality can change from one moment to the next. One second, she warns Cheryl to just keep safe and out of sight, and in the next she is preaching abstinence and yelling about how she will not put up with any painted whores in her home. Martha plays the cautionary role, but in true fantasy form, she would appear less than trustworthy. To an extent, Martha is protecting Cheryl, but she is also clearly hiding some very dark secrets.

Private Parts is directed by genre legend Paul Bartel. Bartel’s direction is very solid in Private Parts, with its biggest strength coming from its subtlety. There are little flashes of eye catching style that show up from time to time, but these touches are subtle, which works perfectly for bringing to life the film’s fantastical elements. To go too far with the visuals could have taken away from the base realism of the movie. These slight touches are just small reminders that there is something off about the world that Cheryl is in. It’s a skewed reality but a reality nonetheless.

There is plenty I didn’t touch on in this review of Private Parts, but I plan on touching Private Parts as much as possible, and I encourage you to do the same. It’s an odd little film that will leave you contemplating some of the deeper aspects long after sitting through it, which for me is the mark of great filmmaking.

 

Tenement (1985): Survival of the Cruelest

After the landlord of a rundown apartment building has a nefarious street gang arrested for squatting in the basement and harassing the tenants, the gang returns to take back what they believe is theirs, and they won’t be going about it nicely. In fact, they utilize unspeakably violent tactics, including rape and murder, as they push the tenants to the point where they have no choice other than to fight back.  

Directed by prominent cult/porn filmmaker, Roberta Findlay, Tenement Is a true cinematic stain of a film that does exactly what a good exploitation film should do: it entertains as much as it offends. Tenement is dirty; it’s scuzzy; it’s grimy in a fashion that bleach backs away from it in frustration. The South Bronx setting gives a front row view of New York at its absolute trashiest, with areas that are so rundown, so broken down and so beat down that it makes the post apocalypse seem livable in comparison. Even the apartment complex is a complete and total shithole, barely being worthy of the rats and roaches that infest its crumbling, graffiti ridden walls.   

The location is the perfect setting for a sleazy street gang, and the gang in Tenement is as sleazy and fun as it gets. Led by the imposingly silent leader Chaco (Enrique Sandino), the gang members are nothing short of crude to anyone unlucky enough to cross their leather-clad path. Amongst the group are a number of recognizable genre faces, including Dan Snow, who would be most familiar to people as ‘Cigar Face’ from the Toxic Avenger movies. B-Movie actress Karen Russell plays Chula, the gangs’ only female member, who isn’t even as much a member as she’s there to be constantly ridiculed, groped and abused at the whim of the other gang members.

If there is any one actor who stands out in Tenement, however, it is Paul Calderon as Hector. While Chaco is the gang’s leader (and he’s certainly a better leader than he is a speaker), it is Hector who is easily the most vicious and frightening member of the group. He’s just a notch or two under Last House on the Left’s Krug in terms of the impact he makes when he’s on screen, and I will credit that to Calderon, who gives a fantastic performance. Hector has an absolutely terrifying look about him, spending much of the film with his skin stained with the glistening blood of his numerous victims, never once bothering to take a moment to wipe any of it away. Instead, he opts to let it dry on his flesh like it’s his uniform; a uniform made of plasma and death.

Tenement is the type of film that’s not at all afraid to “go there.” It quickly becomes very apparent that no one person is safe. The elderly, the handicapped, children, animals, and even a pregnant woman are potential victims of their brutality. The interesting thing about Tenement to me, though, is the fact that these tenants are trapped in this hell hole as a result of the cards they've been dealt in life. Many of them are too poor or simply too old to escape this prison where the guards are made up of ferocious, mean spirited gang members. And really, that's about as raw a deal as one person can get. Being trapped in the rundown, unsanitary conditions of the tenement is bad enough, but having to deal with a bunch of punks who have taken what little they do have and destroyed it is simply too much for any one person to deal with. They aren't just fighting back because they have no choice; they're fighting back because it's the only thing they have left. It's the last stand for the tenants who have been plagued by an affliction that has nearly depleted them.

Seeing as Tenement is a low-budget exploitation film, it does have a nice helping of unavoidable cheese layered throughout, which certainly adds to the flavor of this slice of ‘80s trash. However, cheese or not, I’m not at all surprised that Tenement received a very legitimate X rating when it was released. The film is nearly as offensive and brutal as some of the most well-known exploitation films, and I could argue that it deserves the notoriety and attention of those films, too. Tenement is much like wallowing in that small space behind a toilet in the restroom of a metal club, and as awful and grotesque as that all sounds, it certainly makes for a solid, true exploitation movie.

Run! Bitch Run!: Retro Rape Revenge

It would be somewhat of an understatement if I were to say that there has been an oversaturation of Exploitation cinema since the release of 2007's Tarantino/Rodriguez double feature, Grindhouse (though, the gears were in motion well beforehand). There have been many ups and downs that have come with this oversaturation, with one of the ups being that many films of the era have been given some recognition as well as a greater shot at seeing some sort of release on home video. However, what has been more notable than the rise in popularity of actual films of the time are the numerous, modern-made throwbacks to '70s Exploitation and Grindhouse movies that have flooded the market in both the mainstream and independent markets.

From remakes of genre classics like The Last House on the Left and I Spit on Your Grave, to original films such as Machete and Piranha 3D, films influenced by the cinema of the '70s has been given a small presence in the mainstream market. Then there are the independently made films that have been shoveled out at genre fans over the past few years. Movies such as Bitch Slap, Hobo With A Shotgun and today's feature, Run! Bitch Run!, attempt to capture an era of cinema that has long passed us by. Much like the films of that time, these throwbacks have been met with mixed results by genre fans, and rightfully so.

One of the many problems that come with recreating a style of film from the past (specifically with independent features) can be the filmmakers try way too hard to make something that really cannot be easily recreated in this day in age. Instead, they end up making movies that are simply transparent, lacking an identity as the focus becomes more about the homage, and less about the actual content. In addition, the style can often be used as an excuse for poor filmmaking, with many claiming that said film is meant to be bad because it's like a grindhouse film. That is, quite frankly, a steaming crock of corn filled doo-doo.

With Run! Bitch Run!, director Joseph Guzman is somewhat able to avoid the issue of making a completely inept movie with the excuse of it being a throwback to Exploitation cinema. And while the film does sort of lack its own identity, it does a nice job of capturing the look and vibe of a '70s exploitation flick. 

The film follows two catholic schoolgirls, Catherine (Cheryl Lyone) and Rebecca (Christina DeRosa), who are trying to earn some cash for college by selling bibles door-to-door (see where this one's going?). Their smut peddling hits the brakes when one of the doors they go to just so happens to be the door to hell (well, not literally), and the two girls become abducted after they witness the murder of a prostitute by a scuzzy white pimp - who never wears a shirt AND has long hair - named Lobo (Peter Tahoe). Lobo and his small but viscous gang murder Rebecca in cold blood then brutally torture and rape Catherine, leaving her for dead. Or so they think…

If you've seen more than one rape/revenge film in your lifetime, you should have a good idea where this one is going.

Being set in the 1970s, Guzman and co. surprisingly do a commendable job recreating the vibe of a '70s Exploitation film. The locations are simple but feel authentic, and the same could be said for the movie as a whole. Run! Bitch Run! is not quite as sleazy as I would have expected, but it's not nearly as ridiculous, either, which works both positively and negatively for the film. Where it succeeds best is with attention to technique as well as an air of subtlety that keeps everything reigned in. There are moments where things do go a little over-the-top (like a plunger masturbation scene), but for a film such as this it never goes too far, therefore the movie avoids coming off as overly goofy.

Run! Bitch Run! is veeery simplistic and also feels somewhat rushed, too. Not to say that this one should be any longer than it is, mind you, it's just the amount of time spent with naked chicks could have been properly distributed elsewhere (what am I saying?!). One of the big problems is just how standard it is as a revenge film. The story follows the basic three-tiered act of your typical rape/revenge tale, however, there is very little done to separate it from the pack, leaving the viewer with what is no more than a carbon copy of movies that are vastly superior.   

For the type of movie that it is, Run! Bitch Run! is unfortunately very hallow is in its impact. Now, I should make clear that I love the rape/revenge genre. I'm not one to try and claim that so-and-so film is not one that you can actually love because of its specific subject matter; that has always seemed like a bit of a copout to me, personally. I love the genre as a whole, and just because I do, doesn't make me a fan of rape. I don't 'like' the rape page on facebook, but I do 'like' the Ms. 45 one, if that makes sense. So when I say that it's unfortunate that the rape in Run! Bitch Run! is a tad underwhelming, please don't take it the wrong way. 

The rape scene is not nearly as impactful as it should be for a film of this style, and for a rape/revenge movie (and one that's somewhat trying to be serious), that can really take away from the intensity of the subject matter. There is very little as far as an emotional impact, and because it didn't hit me in the gut like it should have, it's difficult to generate any real sympathy for the Catherine character, let alone care/cheer for her forthcoming moment of vengeful rebirth. It seems as if this moment was just there to be there to serve the story, instead of to drive the character.

Regardless, Run! Bitch Run! redeems itself by going out with a bang, and the last 8 or so minutes of the film are completely and totally satisfying. Overall, what we have here is a movie that actually does a nice job capturing what it set out to on an aesthetic level, but still seems to lack the heart of what made Exploitation films of the '70s so great. I'll gladly give Run! Bitch Run! a ton of props for doing things better than most modern, cheap Exploitation films, I just wish they were able to go all the way with what was started.  

The Taint: Independently Filthy

In a world that has been overtaken by well-endowed, rabid men - with an appetite for crushing in the heads of any female they come across - it's up to Phil O'Ginny (Drew Bolduc) and his female road companion, Misandra (Colleen Walsh), to try to stop the cock-crazed apocalypse that has fallen upon them. That's right. Cock-crazed. Within the first five minutes of The Taint, I was subjected to a close-up shot of some girl's boobies, an old man with shit hanging (and eventually dropping) out of his ass and a dude with a plump pecker spewing Peter North worthy loads like it's no ones business. I cannot honestly say I was too thrilled by this opening (though, I didn't mind the boobies) and immediately went into a mode where I knew I was going to hate what I was watching.

Going over-the-top is a tricky thing (unless you're Sly, naturally), and a huge problem with many films that do so fail because the only thing they have going for them are their over-the-top elements. And to be honest, being outrageous is not a good basis for quality entertainment - unless you can back it up with something that can actually entertain me. So as I'm sitting back, already waiting for the short 70-minute film to end, I was subjected to a movie that goes well out of its way to alienate, disgust and piss off its viewer. Now, I'm not one to feel any of those emotions with a movie like this, instead, I will simply roll my eyes and wish I were watching something better. However, as the film moved on, and throughout the copious amount of lowball sleaze, I found myself slowly being swayed to the dark side of, The Taint.

So, as I said, after the opening scene I was ready to say fuck off to this film. Once that's in my head, it takes a lot to bring me back around again, but The Taint did, and it did so by doing one important thing right. It's funny. In fact, it's funny enough to, over the course of its quick runtime, make me even enjoy the outrageous aspects of the movie. But being outlandish isn't what makes The Taint funny. It's the writing - specifically the dialogue - that had me giggling with politically incorrect glee. Lines like: "Damn you! She was so hot!" is blared out by O'Ginny just after he sees his girlfriend's head get bashed in. Or a hysterical impromptu speech O'Ginny makes about his ability to cock-block a group of gang rape hungry men led by his gym teacher (Cody Crenshaw).

The Taint almost feels like a series of long sketch comedy scenes that all connect to either a character in the film or the apocalyp-dick situation they are in. And even if these vignettes all share a great sense of humor, they are also filled with more than enough pure filth that I'm sure will completely offend most viewers. For example, an abortion by hanger is only allowed if the hanger used is washed with antibacterial soap first. Sick? Sure, but it's too darkly funny for someone like me not to be able to appreciate it. And of course there are plenty of gruesomely outrageous gore effects, most of which come from heads being smashed open in a variety of ways, as well as the infected having their cock heads shot off (head shots, if you will).

Drew Bolduc (who plays the film's lead, O'Ginny) and Dan Nelson share much of The Taint's thick load, with the two co-directing, producing and each taking on various important tasks to make the film cum to life. Despite my initial reaction to The Taint, they put together a movie that I believe can only play as it is to get the results it does. The humor is brash, disgusting and offensive, but it's smartly written and executed effectively, which is more than I can say for what passes for mainstream comedy nowadays. The Taint ain't for everyone. In fact, it's not even really for me, but that is a testament to the comedic elements found within the pile of cocks, cum, tits and grue.

The Taint is available through the film's official website where you can purchase either a copy of the DVD, download an HD digital copy of the film or get your grove on and check out the great 80s-censtric original OST.

Blood Sucking Freaks: The Grand Guign-ewww

I had only seen one of writer/director Joel M. Reed’s (very few) films previous to watching 1976’s Blood Sucking Freaks (aka Bloodsucking Freaks, The Incredible Torture Show, Annie), and that was a film titled G.I. Executioner, a snoozer that I found boring enough to stop watching halfway through. So even with a very controversial reputation behind it, I was trepidatious going into this one, and I even thought about turning back at one point, but I held fast and on I continued to watch. In true exploitation fashion, the plot is nearly nonexistent, focusing on an off-off-Broadway S&M torture show - in the vein of the Grand Guignol - where women are mutilated and even murdered in front of a live audience. However, to keep it realistic, the show doesn’t resort to cheap special effects or lame 3D to captivate and draw in the audience, instead, these heinous acts performed on stage are actually real.

This family friendly show is known as Sardu’s Theater of the Macabre, and is run by, well, Master Sardu (Seamus O'Brien), with the help of his midget assistant (and Lionel Richie look-a-like AND star of The Anal Dwarf), Ralphus (Luis De Jesus). What goes on behind the curtain of this horror show is even more terrible than one could, or would, ever imagine. Sardu, being the true sadist that he is, has a stable of women that he has captured, and using torture techniques, has turned them into slaves to be used however he sees fit. One of those uses is to sell the women off in what is a minute plot involving white slavery, but that is more of a method used to fund Sardu’s theatrical exploits. It would be clear that Sardu is more about having these women around to serve his own callous reasons…to torture them in as many creative ways as he and Ralphus can come up with, then using them as part of his killer act.

While some are truly fascinated by the show that Sardu puts on, there are plenty of viewers that feel otherwise, however, Sardu knows the work he is doing is true theater and should be seen and loved by all - no matter what his critics may think or say. To bring his show to the next level, Sardu kidnaps a famous ballet dancer, Natasha DeNatalie (Viju Krem), so she can give his next show a little more credibility, proving the naysayers wrong about the product he puts forth. Much of the film is based around Sardu and Ralphus trying to break this dancing queen using various acts of violence on other women to shock her into becoming Sardu’s slave, and in turn, a willing participant of the show. And the viewer is along the sick and insane ride for every second of it.

Blood Sucking Freaks is the definition of torture porn before it was a critically coined term created to degrade a specific style of cinema and the fans that watch it (whew, that was a mouthful). It’s pure exploitation, with a plot that is seemingly there only to have wicked scenes of brutal violence and incredible amounts of nudity. This film delivers both in spades, with a copious amount of unmatching carpet, and constant scenes of abuse that play from hysterically weird, to surprisingly creepy and somewhat disturbing. There is a fabulous mixture of electrocution, dismemberment, degradation, necrophilia…and that’s just the normal stuff kids. Blood Sucking Freaks is twisted, it’s dark, it’s misogynistic but there is something about it that stands out above the average B-Movie exploitation film. There is humor that is so dark that it makes the movie somewhat rise up a level, almost exploiting its own exploitation. It’s as if Reed made a film that was making fun of itself and its own ideas at times, and there are points where the movie is incredibly funny in the blackest of ways.

A few stand out scenes that are just completely out there, yet, oddly funny are when Sardu and Ralphus gamble on the results of a board game they‘re playing. Sounds normal enough, sure, but instead of cash, they use the appendages of a couple of girls, removing them on the spot as they make their bids! Then there's the scene where Sardu is enjoying a delicious dinner by candle light, however, he defies conventions by not enjoying his feast on a table made of simple wood and nails, instead, he does so on a doggie styled female, complete with candle wax dripping down her fanny and all. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, as there are plenty of wild moments that will be burned into the viewers memory long after watching Blood Sucking Freaks. I’ll just say this, when you see a feral woman remove a man’s heart, only to lovingly rub it all over her tits afterwards, you know that you are viewing something playing on a completely different level of sleaze. 

There are a few moments in Blood Sucking Freaks that actually play in a very menacing and harsh way, with the main one being a scene where a doctor does some work for Sardu, and is paid by being allowed to have his way with one of the women. Instead of doing some dirty sexual deeds with his payment - in what is a drawn out and truly cringe worthy scene - the good doctor decides to slowly extract his victim’s teeth. However, it doesn’t even end there, as he then proceeds to slowly drill a hole into the top of her head, then, sticks a straw in that hole and begins to drink her fucking brains! So even during an effectively raw and tough to watch scene like this one, it is still capped off with something that is comedic in the sickest of ways.   

It isn’t much of a surprise that Blood Sucking Freaks is considered one of the most offe nsive films of all time nor is it anymore of a shock to learn that the movie was attacked by WAP (Women Against Pornography) for its abusive and degrading scenes involving women. The film is quite vile, and the women are depicted as objects for mutilation, but in a way, that is the point. While I am not making an excuse for how women are portrayed, the film does these shocking things in such a tongue in cheek sort of way that it changes the landscape of it all. It is meant to be offensive, but knows it will offend and pokes fun at those that find it to be that way by going so far over-the-top. The movie itself almost mirrors what the character of Sardu is trying to achieve with his own live shows. Sardu uses over-the-top torture and sadism to create a grand show to entertain the masses, he looks at it as a form of art, and people, no matter how sick the art is, watch it. Same goes for Blood Sucking Freaks, the sicker and more degrading it is, the more people will be fascinated by it, even if it disgusts them to a certain level.

The Last House on the Left 2009: Rebuilt With Different Tools

*Spoiler Warning* If you aren't familiar with the story of The Last House on the Left, then there are spoilers in this review. However, everything I have written here is shown in the trailer, but I feel a warning is still worthy. -Me 

Not all remakes are created equal and while this is a time when remakes are one of the biggest downfalls, complaint inciters and problems with the movie industry, it isn't so much remakes that are the problem, it's the people behind them. Shitty movies are always abound, it's not just remakes of films that we horror fans hold near and dear to our heart that muck up the cinemas. However, they do encapsulate the many issues Hollywood has, namely the lack of creativity and respect for the art of film. Taking what once was great, only to churn out a lesser version for the sake of a quick buck.

As is the case with all cinema, there's the good, there's the bad, and occasionally we are graced with a remake that is done properly. This would be the case with 2009's reboot of the Wes Craven/Sean Cunningham exploitation classic, The Last House on the Left. The story remains similar enough to what was done back in 1972, focusing on two teenage girls, Mari and Paige (Sara Paxton and Martha MacIssac), that are abducted by a demented family of criminals led by an escaped convict named Krug (Garret Dillahunt). After Paige is murdered, and Mari brutally raped, the gang unknowingly take refuge in the summer home belonging to Mari's parents. Woops.

As was the case with the last Last House, this version is simply a modern retelling of The Virgin Spring, putting a set of parents in the position to face the people that would bring harm to the child that they brought into the world. One of the big differences between both this take and the previous versions of the story is that their daughter survives and (barley) makes it home, which is partly how the parents become aware that it was their houseguests that did this to her. While it seems like it may have been a commercially acceptable attempt to take away from the shock of having both girls murdered, it actually works on a different emotional level, as the father knows that one of the men, staying in his home, raped his own daughter.

What works about the film in comparison to the original, is the fact that it is a glossy and well-crafted update. One of the many complaints for a remake of a gritty film from our past is that the new one will be an overly pretty-fied version that will have no chance of capturing what was done in the original. However, that is what actually works for this incarnation. I've already seen a grimy and grungy version of The Last House on the Left, so seeing the story with a different pallet actually gives the film its own identity. To be a successful remake, there needs to be a separation form the source material and to go with a stylistic and well-crafted version is a major departure from 72's Last House.

Another major piece of the successful remake puzzle is being able to somewhat improve upon what was done with the original film. While I love Craven's Last House, and consider it an exploitation classic, it is certainly not without its problems. Two that immediately come to mind are some of the dialogue scenes between the parents as well as everything involving the two police officers. Overall, in this update, the dialogue is solid and mostly natural for all the characters, including the teenage girls, the rents and the gang of psychos. And of course, there is not a cop in sight, but it would be hard to not improve upon the police scenes that were found in the '72 Last House. Even if one of the cops was the leader of the Cobra Kai.

With Last House being a rape revenge film, it is that aspect that works as the film's vengeful drive. While this update is not nearly as brutal as its predecessor, it definitely has its moments and the rape scene itself is a tough watch, as it should be. However, there is an emotional additive that was not found in the Craven film, and after the rape there is an intense and uncomfortable quietness between a few of the characters, namely the female of the group, Sadie (as played by Riki Lindhome), that spoke volumes as to how heinous an act it was, even to a couple of seemingly heartless murderous thugs. No matter how bad of a person she is, Sadie is still a woman, and rape is one of the worst things that can ever happen to one, so this was a nice touch of humanity to see her slight but important reaction to the events.

Now, I'm giving this film a lot of credit, and while it is mostly deserving, it is not without its own faults. While the cast is actually quite impressive all around - with a group of actors that have collectively seen a fair share of genre  work - they all sure are purdy. I'm fine with the parents and teenage girls being attractive – they are the seemingly perfect people  that are having their lives thrown into chaos, so they should fit that mold. But why can't Krug's gang be at least a little bit ugly? Not a one of them is nothing short of attractive, and no amount of creepy facial hair and snarling can take that away from their looks. It truly speaks volumes as to the difference between 70's cinema and the cinema of today. Ugly people were put in film for that reason and David Hess is an ugly dude and so isn't the entire gang in 72's Last House, and they are a whole lot more intimidating than the '09 crew because of it.

There are other minor faults (some would state the film's final moment as one, which I somewhat liked in a throwback to outrageous 80's horror sort of way) and this movie is far from perfect, but director Dennis Iliadis made a film (with the help of both Craven and Cunningham) that takes from the original what was necessary and crafted a movie that can stand on its own two feet…even if the house isn't actually the last one on the left or not.