5 of the Best Vengeance Seeking Female Movie Characters

Revenge can come in all shapes, sizes and forms, but there is no form I love more than that of the vengeance seeking woman. Whether it be through sheer wit, extreme violence or a mixture of the two, there’s something so thrilling about watching a woman stick it to the man in a variety of ways. Especially when the proverbial man deserves such comeuppance.

For your consideration, I have compiled a list of five of the very best examples of vengeance seeking female characters.  

Sex and Fury (Furyô anego den: Inoshika Ochô)

A majority of vengeful characters start off as victims, but that would not be the case with Ochô Inoshika in 1973's Sex and Fury. Played by a very young Reiko Ike, Ochô is a low life criminal who has honed the ability to slice up mofos with her sword, making her more than capable of exacting her vengeance without any inclination of fear.

Sex and Fury is sleaze at it's best (the film also stars sleaze Queen Christina Lindberg!), but with as much sex and violence as the film has, it is beautifully made on all levels. In what is the movie's highlight, Ochô is attacked while bathing, which results in a fight scene for the ages. Quickly moving the fight outside, Ochô proceeds to take out each of her attackers one by one, in the snow, while being completely naked. During this scene, there is this wonderful shot where all that is seen is Ochô's legs as she dances around in the snowy exterior, with blood splatter and limbs hitting the snowy ground all around and her legs.

The scene is easily one of my all-time favorite fight scenes, and the music used to score it is just fantastic. Sex and Fury is exploitation done perfectly, as it takes an artistic approach to a film that is, for all intents and purposes, all about sex and violence.       

Ms. 45 aka Angel of Vengeance

1981's Ms. 45 is a rape revenge film starring Zoë Tamerlis Lund as Thana, a girl who is raped not once but twice in the same day. After she is able to fend off her second attacker by beating him to death with an iron, she takes her attackers weapon, a 45. caliber pistol, and keeps it for herself.

After these horrific events, Thana becomes fearful that any male she encounters is a violent rapist. Due to this fear, Thana goes on a killing spree, with the target's being men who, in her mind, would mean to do her harm. Thana takes this fear and uses it as a jumping off point to swap places and become the aggressor; the one with the upper hand. She uses her looks and sexuality to seduce (mostly) scummy men with the intent of setting them up so she can shoot them with her new 45. caliber pistol.

Director Abel Ferrara does what he does best, as he gets down and dirty in this New York set revenge film. Ms. 45 is a perfect example of how great the New York city aesthetic was for cinema during the ‘70s and ‘80s, and Ferrera encapsulates all the grit and grime of New York during this time period. The city works as a perfect backdrop for a woman who has become traumatized by fear, as any corner or dark alleyway could possibly contain her next attacker. Or in Thana’s case, her next victim.

Coffy

1973's Coffy is hands down one of my favorite Blaxploitation films. Written and directed by one of the greatest exploitation directors of all time, Jack Hill, Coffy is just one of many examples of the genre legend's fine work. The film stars the great Pam Grier in the titular role of Coffy, who promises to take out local drug pushers after her eleven-year-old sister is hospitalized after shooting up some bad heroin.

Coffy uses her sexuality to take her revenge – even pretending to be drugged up and looking for some action – as she lures unsuspecting scum to their deserving demise. There's plenty of sex mixed in with some great action via Coffy’s shotgun, but Coffy as a film is still played straight, opting to concentrate as much on the exploitation elements as it does the characters and story. This is a true testament to the respect Hill had for the movie he was making.

The character of Coffy is sexy, deadly, and smart, all the elements that make for a great revenge film character. Coffy is the film that put Grier on the exploitation map, and even though she's a little rough around the edge performance wise, she remains highly entertaining, especially in how well she delivers Hill’s fantastic dialogue.

(Sympathy for) Lady Vengeance (Chinjeolhan geumjassi)

In the third part of Chan-wook Park's near perfect Vengeance Trilogy, 2005's Lady Vengeance is a revenge tale by way of art house cinema. With each passing film in the Vengeance Trilogy, the visual prowess becomes more and more intense, and Lady Vengeance is the culmination of these efforts. Where the film stands out most, however, is with the character of Geum-ja Lee, as played flawlessly by Young-ae Lee.

Geum-ja spent 13 years of her life behind bars for a murder that she did not commit. Her tale of revenge is against the real murderer, a man who has, for far too long, gotten away with atrocities that would put fear into even the most jaded of hearts. Geum-ja is calculated, precise and very patient in how she goes about taking her revenge. She makes the right moves in prison by displaying maternal like qualities as she cares for her fellow inmates, even going as far as to donate an organ to someone who, in turn, will be forever indebted to Geum-ja. By the time she is released from prison, there are a number of paroled inmates who are more than willing to help Geum-ja, and she takes full advantage of their help to see that her vengeance is fulfilled.

Lady Vengeance is much like Geum-ja: calculated, precise and very patient. It slowly but strikingly burns, leading to an amazing final act and conclusion for the lead character.

Lady Snowblood (Shurayukihime)

In Toshiya Fujita's 1973 film Lady Snowblood, the beautiful Meiko Kaji portrays Yuki Kashima (aka Lady Snowblood), a character who is nothing more than an instrument created to avenge the injustices that her parents suffered.

Her father was murdered, her mother imprisoned and continuously raped, and it was this abuse that her mother went through that brought about Lady Snowblood. Yuki was purposely born for one reason and one reason only, and that is to seek vengeance for a family that she would never come to know and love. Nothing else. Revenge is her sole purpose in life and the reason for her existence. She's like a Terminator, but with far more style and grace.

Lady Snowblood is a brilliantly crafted film, filled with vibrant colors, beautiful cinematography and a fantastic score. It’s also extremely bloody and violent, and in a way that shows an immense amount of creativity.

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Thanks for digging into my list, and I very much encourage you to share your thoughts on my picks as well as share some of your favorite vengeance seeking female characters!

Inga (1968): A Sexual Odyssey

Soon after her mother passes away, Inga (Marie Liljedahl) is sent to stay with her aunt, Greta (Monica Strömmerstedt). Greta is an attractive middle-aged woman who only seems to be focused on two things: money and her much younger boyfriend, Karl (Casten Lassen). Unfortunately, however, Greta is broke, and without money to feed his gold digging ways, Greta risks losing Karl, too. Worse yet, Karl begins to show some interest in the pretty and significantly younger Inga, something that incites a touch of jealousy in Greta. As a way to stay financially stable as well as keep Karl by her side, Greta selfishly uses Inga as collateral, setting her up with a wealthy older man named Einar (Thomas Ungewitter) in exchange for weekly payments. This arrangement is unknown to Einar, however, as his sister is the one who set up the deal with the hope of making her brother happy.

Written and directed by Joseph Sarno, 1968’s Inga is a Swedish sexploitation film that is, at its heart, about a young, beautiful girl growing into adulthood. More so, however, it’s about a girl who will come to find herself sexually.

Inga is first introduced as she gently removes a sheer chiffon peignoir to reveal a modest nightgown. She then proceeds to make her way towards a set of shelves that are placed directly in front of the audience’s perspective. Located on the shelving are a number of children's wind-up toys, which Inga curiously inspects with a wide-eyed, almost childlike curiosity. As the music box style score adds to the playfulness of the scene, Inga spends a moment with each toy, smiling whimsically at the joy these simple items bring to her at this very moment.

After this introduction, the film cuts to a kinetic opening credit sequence that consists of numerous sexually charged teenagers dancing to some groovy psychedelic music. These free-spirited teenagers come in stark contrast to what we had seen from Inga only minutes before. In fact, this opening almost serves as the impetus for the journey ahead of Inga; a young, innocent and attractive 17-year-old girl who will see a major change in her life materialize throughout the course of an 82 minute film. This change will come in the form of a sexual awakening, as her childlike innocence at the beginning of the film will slowly shed to reveal a woman who is ready to embrace her sexuality, much like the dancing teenagers seen during the opening credits.  

Inga has been labeled as a softcore film – even receiving an X rating when originally released in the US (a re-release garnered an R) – but I place a big emphasis on the word soft. There is certainly a fair amount of nudity in Inga. There are even a number of highly sexualized situations. In fact, the entire tone of the film is driven by sex, which is essentially the point of a sexploitaiton film. With that said, this is 1968, and soft for 1968 is certainly tame by modern “soft” standards. You’ll definitely see a lot more “action” if you keep your channel tuned to Cinemax late at night.

Regardless of how tame it is compared to today’s standards, Inga is certainly an extremely erotic piece of cinema, and this is especially represented by a few key sequences. One of the more notable moments being a scene where Inga is standing in front of a mirror after a shower – examining her body in a way that would indicate she is beginning to acknowledge herself as a sexual being. Soon afterwards, Inga notices Karl peeping in her window from the street below. At this point, Inga does something quite out of character, as she begins to remove her clothing to reveal her nude body before putting on a lace nightgown – and she does so right in front of the window as Karl watches. This would be a turning point for Inga, as this event sets off a masturbatiry awakening of her sexual desires as Karl furiously revs the engine of his sports car before driving away in sexual frustration.

Something else worth noting is that Inga's curiosity for the playful toys in the film’s opening comes to be a clear echo of her curiosity for playful sexuality, and this theme carries on throughout the film in a number of fascinating ways. For example, early on there's a scene between Greta and Karl in which Greta picks up a wind-up toy drummer, turns its key a few times, and places it back down again. As the toy drummer begins rapidly playing his drum, Greta turns to Karl and the two begin passionately kissing. The furious drumming seemingly representing the rapid heartbeat of the two lovers as they are overtaken with sexual lust. Later on in the film, as Inga (who is accompanied by Einar) is about to go to sleep, she walks over to a wind-up toy marching band, picks it up and places it next to her bed before laying down. After Einar leaves her room so she can sleep – but not after the two share an innocent kiss – Inga winds up the toy marching band and captively watches as it walks off and towards the camera. It’s as if she is watching her innocence as a child walk away, leaving her adult self behind.

Despite being a sexploitation movie, Sarno shows a lot of respect for Inga and her sexuality. Never is Inga or her sexuality exploited in a mean or nasty fashion. In fact, as a film, Inga is more a celebration of womanhood as well as a celebration of a woman's growing sexual needs and desires. The liberating and artistic approach to Inga's erotic journey towards sexual adulthood is what makes Inga such an important sexploitation film, as Inga’s excursion is presented in a fascinating fashion that never compromises her innocence nor her independence.

 

The Taint: Independently Filthy

In a world that has been overtaken by well-endowed, rabid men - with an appetite for crushing in the heads of any female they come across - it's up to Phil O'Ginny (Drew Bolduc) and his female road companion, Misandra (Colleen Walsh), to try to stop the cock-crazed apocalypse that has fallen upon them. That's right. Cock-crazed. Within the first five minutes of The Taint, I was subjected to a close-up shot of some girl's boobies, an old man with shit hanging (and eventually dropping) out of his ass and a dude with a plump pecker spewing Peter North worthy loads like it's no ones business. I cannot honestly say I was too thrilled by this opening (though, I didn't mind the boobies) and immediately went into a mode where I knew I was going to hate what I was watching.

Going over-the-top is a tricky thing (unless you're Sly, naturally), and a huge problem with many films that do so fail because the only thing they have going for them are their over-the-top elements. And to be honest, being outrageous is not a good basis for quality entertainment - unless you can back it up with something that can actually entertain me. So as I'm sitting back, already waiting for the short 70-minute film to end, I was subjected to a movie that goes well out of its way to alienate, disgust and piss off its viewer. Now, I'm not one to feel any of those emotions with a movie like this, instead, I will simply roll my eyes and wish I were watching something better. However, as the film moved on, and throughout the copious amount of lowball sleaze, I found myself slowly being swayed to the dark side of, The Taint.

So, as I said, after the opening scene I was ready to say fuck off to this film. Once that's in my head, it takes a lot to bring me back around again, but The Taint did, and it did so by doing one important thing right. It's funny. In fact, it's funny enough to, over the course of its quick runtime, make me even enjoy the outrageous aspects of the movie. But being outlandish isn't what makes The Taint funny. It's the writing - specifically the dialogue - that had me giggling with politically incorrect glee. Lines like: "Damn you! She was so hot!" is blared out by O'Ginny just after he sees his girlfriend's head get bashed in. Or a hysterical impromptu speech O'Ginny makes about his ability to cock-block a group of gang rape hungry men led by his gym teacher (Cody Crenshaw).

The Taint almost feels like a series of long sketch comedy scenes that all connect to either a character in the film or the apocalyp-dick situation they are in. And even if these vignettes all share a great sense of humor, they are also filled with more than enough pure filth that I'm sure will completely offend most viewers. For example, an abortion by hanger is only allowed if the hanger used is washed with antibacterial soap first. Sick? Sure, but it's too darkly funny for someone like me not to be able to appreciate it. And of course there are plenty of gruesomely outrageous gore effects, most of which come from heads being smashed open in a variety of ways, as well as the infected having their cock heads shot off (head shots, if you will).

Drew Bolduc (who plays the film's lead, O'Ginny) and Dan Nelson share much of The Taint's thick load, with the two co-directing, producing and each taking on various important tasks to make the film cum to life. Despite my initial reaction to The Taint, they put together a movie that I believe can only play as it is to get the results it does. The humor is brash, disgusting and offensive, but it's smartly written and executed effectively, which is more than I can say for what passes for mainstream comedy nowadays. The Taint ain't for everyone. In fact, it's not even really for me, but that is a testament to the comedic elements found within the pile of cocks, cum, tits and grue.

The Taint is available through the film's official website where you can purchase either a copy of the DVD, download an HD digital copy of the film or get your grove on and check out the great 80s-censtric original OST.

Paracinema Is So Slutty

If you're in the mood for a filthy good laugh (well, I hope you would laugh, or at least that's the goal), head on over to Paracinema and take a peak at my review for the Tinto Brass directed, Erotic masterpiece, Monamour! Seriously, reading my review will be like living and breathing the film, and you can do it in an 1/8 the time it would take you to actually watch it. Plus, the chances for STDs would go down by at least 73% by reading it. Plus, plus, there are pictures of almost naked people!! And we all know how much you perverts love a good naked person in your everyday lives, so go on, get your fine little ass over there, okay?

CLICK DA LINK!!

Blood Sucking Freaks: The Grand Guign-ewww

I had only seen one of writer/director Joel M. Reed’s (very few) films previous to watching 1976’s Blood Sucking Freaks (aka Bloodsucking Freaks, The Incredible Torture Show, Annie), and that was a film titled G.I. Executioner, a snoozer that I found boring enough to stop watching halfway through. So even with a very controversial reputation behind it, I was trepidatious going into this one, and I even thought about turning back at one point, but I held fast and on I continued to watch. In true exploitation fashion, the plot is nearly nonexistent, focusing on an off-off-Broadway S&M torture show - in the vein of the Grand Guignol - where women are mutilated and even murdered in front of a live audience. However, to keep it realistic, the show doesn’t resort to cheap special effects or lame 3D to captivate and draw in the audience, instead, these heinous acts performed on stage are actually real.

This family friendly show is known as Sardu’s Theater of the Macabre, and is run by, well, Master Sardu (Seamus O'Brien), with the help of his midget assistant (and Lionel Richie look-a-like AND star of The Anal Dwarf), Ralphus (Luis De Jesus). What goes on behind the curtain of this horror show is even more terrible than one could, or would, ever imagine. Sardu, being the true sadist that he is, has a stable of women that he has captured, and using torture techniques, has turned them into slaves to be used however he sees fit. One of those uses is to sell the women off in what is a minute plot involving white slavery, but that is more of a method used to fund Sardu’s theatrical exploits. It would be clear that Sardu is more about having these women around to serve his own callous reasons…to torture them in as many creative ways as he and Ralphus can come up with, then using them as part of his killer act.

While some are truly fascinated by the show that Sardu puts on, there are plenty of viewers that feel otherwise, however, Sardu knows the work he is doing is true theater and should be seen and loved by all - no matter what his critics may think or say. To bring his show to the next level, Sardu kidnaps a famous ballet dancer, Natasha DeNatalie (Viju Krem), so she can give his next show a little more credibility, proving the naysayers wrong about the product he puts forth. Much of the film is based around Sardu and Ralphus trying to break this dancing queen using various acts of violence on other women to shock her into becoming Sardu’s slave, and in turn, a willing participant of the show. And the viewer is along the sick and insane ride for every second of it.

Blood Sucking Freaks is the definition of torture porn before it was a critically coined term created to degrade a specific style of cinema and the fans that watch it (whew, that was a mouthful). It’s pure exploitation, with a plot that is seemingly there only to have wicked scenes of brutal violence and incredible amounts of nudity. This film delivers both in spades, with a copious amount of unmatching carpet, and constant scenes of abuse that play from hysterically weird, to surprisingly creepy and somewhat disturbing. There is a fabulous mixture of electrocution, dismemberment, degradation, necrophilia…and that’s just the normal stuff kids. Blood Sucking Freaks is twisted, it’s dark, it’s misogynistic but there is something about it that stands out above the average B-Movie exploitation film. There is humor that is so dark that it makes the movie somewhat rise up a level, almost exploiting its own exploitation. It’s as if Reed made a film that was making fun of itself and its own ideas at times, and there are points where the movie is incredibly funny in the blackest of ways.

A few stand out scenes that are just completely out there, yet, oddly funny are when Sardu and Ralphus gamble on the results of a board game they‘re playing. Sounds normal enough, sure, but instead of cash, they use the appendages of a couple of girls, removing them on the spot as they make their bids! Then there's the scene where Sardu is enjoying a delicious dinner by candle light, however, he defies conventions by not enjoying his feast on a table made of simple wood and nails, instead, he does so on a doggie styled female, complete with candle wax dripping down her fanny and all. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, as there are plenty of wild moments that will be burned into the viewers memory long after watching Blood Sucking Freaks. I’ll just say this, when you see a feral woman remove a man’s heart, only to lovingly rub it all over her tits afterwards, you know that you are viewing something playing on a completely different level of sleaze. 

There are a few moments in Blood Sucking Freaks that actually play in a very menacing and harsh way, with the main one being a scene where a doctor does some work for Sardu, and is paid by being allowed to have his way with one of the women. Instead of doing some dirty sexual deeds with his payment - in what is a drawn out and truly cringe worthy scene - the good doctor decides to slowly extract his victim’s teeth. However, it doesn’t even end there, as he then proceeds to slowly drill a hole into the top of her head, then, sticks a straw in that hole and begins to drink her fucking brains! So even during an effectively raw and tough to watch scene like this one, it is still capped off with something that is comedic in the sickest of ways.   

It isn’t much of a surprise that Blood Sucking Freaks is considered one of the most offe nsive films of all time nor is it anymore of a shock to learn that the movie was attacked by WAP (Women Against Pornography) for its abusive and degrading scenes involving women. The film is quite vile, and the women are depicted as objects for mutilation, but in a way, that is the point. While I am not making an excuse for how women are portrayed, the film does these shocking things in such a tongue in cheek sort of way that it changes the landscape of it all. It is meant to be offensive, but knows it will offend and pokes fun at those that find it to be that way by going so far over-the-top. The movie itself almost mirrors what the character of Sardu is trying to achieve with his own live shows. Sardu uses over-the-top torture and sadism to create a grand show to entertain the masses, he looks at it as a form of art, and people, no matter how sick the art is, watch it. Same goes for Blood Sucking Freaks, the sicker and more degrading it is, the more people will be fascinated by it, even if it disgusts them to a certain level.

Lady Terminator (1989): Hasta la vista, penis

Well before there was ever a "Terminatrix," there was Lady Terminator, and while Lady Terminator (1989) is a rip-off of the 1984 Sci-Fi Horror classic, The Terminator, it's somewhat ironic and funny to know that it was an Indonesian rip-off action film that would be the first to bring a female Terminator to the screen. Both Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines and Lady Terminator would use their female antagonist as the main selling point, and both would do so to amp up the sex appeal of what was started in The Terminator. That's how you make money folks… big guns, big hair, big tits, but the only one that actually shows the tits is the only one that matters.

Lady Terminator takes out the Science Fiction elements found in its "inspiration," and replaces them with an origin story filled with some whacked out Indonesian folklore. This Lady Terminator is not sent from the future to change history, instead, she is an anthropologist who becomes possessed by the legendary Indonesian goddess, the Queen of the South Sea, for vengeful purposes. From what we learn in the film's opening, the queen - who has some seriously hot armpit hair – bones a ton of dudes in the hopes that she can find a man who can actually satisfy her deep sexual needs. When her suitor doesn’t satisfy the queen, THE EEL THAT LIVES IN HER VAGINA chomps the man's dick off, just as he is in mid-climax. Basically, she dick-capitates them and they bleed to death. Could be a worse way to go out, I suppose.

The queen runs into a bit of trouble one day when one of her suitors gets the best of her and 'snatches' the eel from her ever open cubby hole. For some reason, the eel turns into a knife, but I don't know why it turns into a knife; he doesn't stab her with it or anything, it just changes, so whatever. Anyway, the queen - pissed and without her vagina eel - curses the man's great-granddaughter (as opposed to him or his daughter), which brings us back (or forward?) to the present and to the motive of the possessed anthropologist aka Lady Terminator!

being an obvious rip-off, Lady Terminator takes many key scenes and ideas from the original Terminator. However, it does put its own sexual spin on things, like, instead of a naked Arnold forcefully taking the cloths from a couple of biker dudes, a naked Lady Terminator dick-capitates these two drunk guys, then takes one of their leather jackets to cover up her excellent titties. While the film sort of rolls off its sexual elements, unlike many Exploitation films from the 70s and 80s, Lady Terminator doesn't feel quite as dirty for some reason. Most films from that era used sex in a much harsher way, while Lady Terminator plays things so ridiculously that it makes the sexual aspects silly and goofy, but still oh so very fun. 

There are many hysterical and cheese filled moments in the film, and they come from all directions without any warning whatsoever. There's a disco dance scene that is just to die for; there is a Budnick (who was in T2) look-alike, complete with a red mullet and intense sexual appeal; there are cop cars that look as if they came from the junkyard, and of course, there's the amazing character interactions which result in some of cinema’s finest dialogue.

Here are a few choice moments of the powerful dialogue for you reading pleasure:

"American Express is after my blood again…my checks are bouncing like yo-yos!"

Or, my favorite cop conversation:

"Anything to eat?"

"Just hotdogs"

"I really hate hotdogs (blasphemy!)"

"Listen, Jack and I have seen more dead bodies than you have eaten hotdogs, so shut up and eat!"

*Men smile and giggle with each other in a homoerotic way*

Seriously, it just doesn't get better than that, now does it? The answer is no.

Considering this is a Lady Terminator review, I have thus far neglected to get into the Lady Terminator herself (because if I get into her, she may chomp my dick off). As the tagline suggests, 'She mates, then she Terminates' and she does so with wicked style and sass. Her look is fitting to the times (the 80s), and while being quite attractive, her Roseanne Roseannadanna hair style and pants so high they could double as a brazier, make for a look that can only be pulled off by a woman with a bear trap for a vag. Barbara Anne Constable plays the part of the titular Lady Terminator, and as it turns out, this was her only acting gig, which is unfortunate because she is quite attractive and plays the mostly silent character as well as one could expect from this type of film. More importantly, however, is that she keeps up with the many action scenes very convincingly.

Speaking of the action, it is just that that would be the highlight of Lady Terminator. While the film starts off a little slow, there is plenty of silly dialogue and T&A to hold one over until the wild and bloody action starts up. And when it starts up, it starts up strong and keeps going, only to lull for cock-chomps or convos about hotdogs. Every character in Lady Terminator doesn't have just a gun, they have fully automatic weapons. In addition, cars aren't made of steel, instead, they are crafted out of paper-mache and dynamite, and boy do they blow up really good. The action in Lady Terminator is pure insanity, and to be totally honest, ramps up any action found in any of the "real" Terminator films as far as quantity goes, even if many of the set pieces are stolen from The Terminator.

Like with most Indonesian action flicks from the 1980s, 1989's Lady Terminator is ridiculous, sure, but it is also so much fun and completely entertaining from start to finish. If you love a fun action film with over the top explosions and bloody gun battles, while enjoying a plate full of melted cheese sprinkled with some sexy Indonesian ladies showing their vitamin D's, then Lady Terminator is the film for you. 

Stepfather Factory

So it's father's day and with that comes the need to do something thematic, as well as the need to put myself through some possible torture at the same time. Sadly, the first thing that came to mind when I thought, "what can I do for father's day?" was to do a review of The Stepfather remake. It's on instant view and chances are it will make for an interesting review. Maybe.

In a way, there isn't all that much to say about The Stepfather narratively. It's a remake that follows the 1987 movie pretty closely, which is basically about a man that only wishes to have the perfect family, but when that systematized delusion is not met, this "stepfather" discards of his family by killing them, then moves on to his next family and the possible chance for unified family bliss. He finds a venerable woman, whom, thanks to a recent divorce, is single with kids and he swoops in with a gallon bucket full of charm, working his way into their lives in the hopes of forming the ideal family.

The Stepfather was directed by Nelson McCormick, a man who has directed a ton of television but is best known to horror fans as the director of Prom Night 2008. I reviewed that film some time ago over at Paracinema, and while I wasn't a big fan, I knew it was not made for my eyes as they are too old for that film. It was made for those youngsters and their skateboards. Still, it was a terrible movie, so what can I expect when McCormick comes back for yet another tween-geared remake of an 80’s horror film? Not much, but it is better than Prom Night at least.

As with Prom Night, The Stepfather is technically adept, but very standard at the same time. There is little to no creativity, but it does work as a functional film. The same can be said for the acting, which is nothing special, but everyone is solid, with Dylan Walsh's performance being well played and creepy enough, while not nearly as memorable as what was done by the ever so intense Terry O'Quinn.

Even if the film is close to competent, it also fails where so many unoriginal horror movies do. There is a so bad it hurts jump scare, with a cat no less, which caused me to punch my own cat in retaliation. There is a moment where a window is broken in the basement using the sound of thunder as cover…because a window being smashed in and thunder sound so much alike. The family that is chosen by the stepfather has three siblings, one that would be the main focus, while oddly enough, the other two are hardly ever around, especially the younger sister who is seen no more than two or three times. Then there's the whole cell phone ringer issue that is just going to cause my blood pressure to rise if I get into it, so I'll leave it at that.

Something that stood out like a sore dick was the obvious product placement. Every character uses a Mac, which is whatever, but the one that had me shaking my head in disbelief was the amount of time the game Burnout Paradise spends on screen. There is a least three moments where the kids are shown playing it, with a close up of the screen no less, but the kicker is the game's case is actually propped up at one point, right in front of the TV in which they are using. I can somewhat give a pass to a character drinking a mountain dew or some shit, but who props up a game case in front of their television? It was painfully lame.

Being better than Prom Night isn't much of a stretch, and I think it's only better due to this version staying on the rails of the original more than Prom Night did. However, that does play into the films lack of originality, and at least Prom Night tried to be its own movie, whether or not it was awful. The Stepfather is completely predictable, and even if it wasn't a remake, it is like so many movies that have come before it, from frame one, you know exactly what will happen in the film's runtime. You know that there are characters that will question the motives of the titular character, and you know he will end their life short to keep his cover and his dream of the perfect family alive. You know that the oldest child will be weary of this new man in his family’s life, and will spend the runtime trying to figure out what this dudes deal really is. It's overly dramatic familiarity.

One thing that is definitely better about this remake compared to Prom Night is the fact that one of the two main characters is an adult. That keeps the teen aspect to a lesser degree, as he is the main focus over the eldest son. While the "teen" aspect is there, complete with shitty pop-punk-commercial-rock music, it was all slightly acceptable due to how the presence of Amber Heard (who is best known to horror fiends as the titular character in All the Boys Love Mandy Lane) is handled.

I can see where those boys are coming from after seeing The Stepfather. While this kept me interested way more than much of the film, it is oddly gratuitous and exploitative in a movie that other wise remains cookie cutter and almost safe. She's good in the movie, but her character serves no other reason than to look hot in string bikinis or to have her tits falling out the top of her shirt. And the fact that Mandy Lane has yet to see a release, but The Stepfather has, speaks volumes to the injustice that is life for the horror fan.

Poor product placement, an unoriginal and predictable premise, good looking-half naked teens, catchy pop music, easily digestible…in the end, The Stepfather is nothing short of Hollywood exploitation by way of a PG-13 rating.